Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinionsˋˋ

#directors #organizations #salaries #worker #people #opinionsˋˋ

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society, the gap

Change preposition

between

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

people

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rich

people

are growing, which is unhealthy for the

stableization

Correct your spelling

stabilization

and development of a

conuntry

Correct your spelling

country

. And

this

trend has been discovered in multiple developed

conuntries

Correct your spelling

countries

. Some

people

think those

managers

don't deserve salaries that are much more

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

the

workers

while

others

beilive

Correct your spelling

believe

they do.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the one hand, there are some opinion

beiliving

Correct your spelling

believing

workers

should gain more money

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

they used to.

Due to

the fact that

workers

are the group of

people

who are really producing or

outputing

Correct your spelling

outputting

the real things.

By contrast

, those directors can only assign the mission to someone,

instead

doing

Correct pronoun usage

it by

show examples

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

Therefore

, any worker would

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

inevitably

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

unfair cause

Change preposition

show examples

these situations.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the other hand,

although

the

people

who really completed the tasks in the company are

workers

However

, most of the giant

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society, have well-developed systems to run their

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

aimming

Correct your spelling

aiming

cost

Wrong verb form

costs

show examples

down and

also

increase profits. These systems were built by the

managers

such

Correct article usage

the Cheif

show examples

Cheif

Correct your spelling

Chief

show examples

of Execution with their knowledge of

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

administration. On top of that, these skills are invaluable, without good decisions

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

made by the

borad

Correct your spelling

board

members or the

managers

, the company might

be lose

Change the verb form

lose

show examples

the

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

war and surpassed by the other

competiters

Correct your spelling

competitors

For example

, most worker need someone to supervise their work. They need

guidence

Correct your spelling

guidance

from the

managers

so they can know their missions and tasks clearly.

Furthermore

, employees

also

have to cooperate with the other

co-wokers

Correct your spelling

co-workers

Due to

collective

intellegent

Correct your spelling

intelligence

intelligent

, teamwork can always beat those who don't. In my opinion,

while

outputting the productions

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

important, and not replaceable,

however

, they need someone who can make

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

decisions and lead the team to win the market and generate more money.

Submitted by jamexhuang on Sat Nov 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider organizing your ideas into more distinct paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph presents and supports a single main idea.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction sets up a clear roadmap of what you will discuss. Likewise, your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion.

task achievement

While relevant examples were attempted, try to provide more specific and concrete examples to support your arguments. This will help enhance your task achievement score.

task achievement

Ensure your ideas are fully and clearly developed, perhaps by expanding on your reasoning and providing further elaboration for each point.

task achievement

You've successfully highlighted both sides of the argument regarding high directors' salaries, which is crucial for task response.

task achievement

Your essay attempts to balance arguments and present a neutral voice before offering your own opinion, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinionsˋˋ

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.