These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
One of the widely discussed issues these days is mobile
phones
and internet
. Of course, there is no absolute agreement that someone Correct article usage
the internet
find
Change the verb form
finds
phones
benefical
, Correct your spelling
beneficial
while
others consider everything associated with the internet
negatively. I agree that there are both pros and cons to it but I believe advantages
outweigh Correct article usage
the advantages
disadvantages
.
If we start with Correct article usage
the disadvantages
positive
things Correct article usage
the positive
of
mobile Change preposition
about
phones
and the internet
, firstly
it
will be extremely large Correct pronoun usage
there
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
on
it. Everyone in the world knows that every Change preposition
about
information
that you need and will Correct quantifier usage
piece of information
be
benefit – is on the Unnecessary verb
apply
internet
.
For instance
, you have to find any information about Queen Elizabeth II. Sounds easy, right? But not in the moment when you opening
the History book, you are trying to find anything that seems Wrong verb form
open
familliar
and Correct your spelling
familiar
then
writing all of it. But if we use the internet
- you just opened
the needed page, copy all of it and print it.
Another advantage is that we can use the social Wrong verb form
open
medias
. Correct your spelling
media
Nowaday
, social Correct your spelling
Nowadays
medias
have a big influence Correct your spelling
media
in
our Change preposition
on
lifes
. In social media we can post our photos, Correct your spelling
lives
videos
, Correct word choice
and videos
texting to
someone, and Wrong verb form
text
also giving
advice to everyone.
A good example here is when you Wrong verb form
give
went
to the most famous restaurant, of course, the desire to tell about it to everyone getting higher. So Wrong verb form
go
that is
why you taking
a picture, post it on your Instagram and Wrong verb form
take
having
many likes (or hearts).
Now we Wrong verb form
have
turning
to the other side of the argument, the global issue of the Wrong verb form
turn
internet
and mobile phones
is insomnia. That is
the most popular
problem, especially Correct word choice
common
from
teenagers.
It is explained by the fact that mobile Change preposition
among
phones
usually makes
our Correct subject-verb agreement
make
brain
more active because of the light screen, of course, it makes our brain Fix the agreement mistake
brains
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
actively
at night too. And Change the word
active
that is
the main reason and explain
Replace the word
explanation
of
our sleepy and tired mood all day.
In conclusion, I can tell that we should not Change preposition
for
forgetting
Change the verb form
forget
be forgetting
ourself
in those gadgets and social Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
medias
. We must Correct your spelling
media
to
have Change the verb form
apply
a
calm from it, let Correct article usage
apply
your
eyes take a deep vacation from high light and our health will be okay.Correct pronoun usage
our
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task achievement
You have addressed the task, discussing both pros and cons of mobile phones and the internet. However, enhance the depth of analysis by incorporating more detailed arguments and counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by making smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using linking words more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide more structured and logical connections within paragraphs to ensure that the essay flows better.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your argument neatly.
task achievement
Attempts to use relevant examples such as the Queen Elizabeth II information search and posting on Instagram are made, helping in clarifying your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.