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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development
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From my perspective, having a suitable job in a perfect place sometimes seems to be against our personal preferences of being working surrounded by our families one of the main benefits of working away is the ability to concentrate more on daily tasks, having a chance to improve the employee skills and performance,and improving time management will be a crucial point I experienced that when I was in Riyadh to have my fellowship degree , it was not easy at the beginning but I tolerated that after a few months
However
, of course, there are cons to
traveling
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travelling
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 and working in a far place , one of them is the feeling of loneliness , but with the evolution of technology,
such
 as video calls , and texting programs which made distances closer Other disadvantages of moving far are being totally independent, paying a lot to rent an apartment despite having your own home ,
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adopting
adopting to
adoptingto
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adopting
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a new
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anew
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a new
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 culture and society if there are some beliefs or conceptions not related to our society In conclusion, life is hard and we need to challenge ourselves to invest in our knowledge, skills, what have learned in college, and all these factors may force us to choose a job in a far place rather than working in our home town
Submitted by ghufran.mahmoud on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. Enhance transitions between ideas.
task achievement
For a more complete task response, consider addressing the prompt more directly by comparing both the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly.
task achievement
Clarify examples used to support main points, ensuring they are directly relevant to the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position throughout about the challenges and benefits of working away from home.
task achievement
Personal experience, such as working in Riyadh, enriches the response by providing relevant, specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and considers broader implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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