IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The advent of the Internet has made it possible for people to work from home. Write an essay looking at the advantages and disadvantages of this professional arrangement. Share personal examples in your essay.

#advent #internet #people #work #home #arrangement
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These days a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 think that
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 internet
it have
Wrong verb form
has
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 a many factor
to
Change preposition
in
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 life.So, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that advantages
For example
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, it has development for
study
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studying
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 at home
Also
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 we can
use
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 it for training
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, we can multiple methods If
use
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 in good
aways
Correct your spelling
ways
show examples
.
Firstly
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, has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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many
of
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apply
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factors
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Such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as
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For
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,
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 it in a
whether
Correct word choice
apply
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project or Presentation we can take
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 idea
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 chat gbt.
Secondly
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,
use
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youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
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 to make a development our talents To illustrate,
IELTS
Correct article usage
the IELTS
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 exam
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps
for
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to
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 find
out
Change preposition
apply
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more information in every section.
Thirdly
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,
people
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 were
could not
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cannot
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to
Change the verb form
apply
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sleep
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will sleep in an
essaily
Correct your spelling
essay
easily
 because there are many of a story and audio even audiobooks.
Fourtly
Correct your spelling
Fourthly
, it
is make
Change the verb form
makes
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 the mind more information and
people
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 with
specail
Correct your spelling
special
 needs and More
care
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 significantly.
However
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, We
most
Correct your spelling
must
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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take
care
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until
Change preposition
of
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if
Correct word choice
whether
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 that has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it has as
many damages
Fix the agreement mistake
much damage
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 as it has benefits.
Moreover
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, at least children
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are small ages and they did not get information in a good aways Instance of, whether youtube or any videos it
factor
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factors
show examples
 to make
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact in their minds.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 they did not have any control
about
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over
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 how much
time
Use synonyms
 for
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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because
electricity
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of electricity
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 in the body
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prevents movement.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 will dispense with manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 and depend on artificial intelligence.
As a result
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,
Correct pronoun usage
we shoud
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shoud
Correct your spelling
should
care
Use synonyms
 about
time
Use synonyms
 how much we spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 because a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 has
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
. In conclusion, after we discuss both sides
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
effect
Add an article
the effect
an effect
show examples
. I believe that we most
care
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the internet in all
aways
Correct your spelling
ways
show examples
 and set a specific
time
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 it.
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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coherence cohesion
Improve your logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your thesis.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Personal examples or examples from the real world can make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Avoid repeating ideas and try to present your points more clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for clarity.
task achievement
You have made an effort to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which is key to addressing the task requirements.
task achievement
You have mentioned some ways in which the internet can be beneficial, such as for training and development.
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