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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, students sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that many
students
Use synonyms
 sleep less than they did in the past.
This
Linking Words
 trend has become increasingly common
due to
Linking Words
 changes in lifestyle and academic demands. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons behind
this
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 issue and its effects on individuals. One of the most apparent causes is the increasing use of technology and digital devices. To illustrate,
students
Use synonyms
 often spend long hours on smartphones, social media, and online entertainment, especially at night.
For instance
Linking Words
, scrolling through social media or playing online games can delay bedtime and reduce
overall
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 sleep duration.
In addition
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, academic pressure has intensified, with
students
Use synonyms
 facing heavy workloads, assignments, and examinations.
As a result
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, many
students
Use synonyms
 stay up late to complete their studies, which
further
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 contributes to sleep deprivation. The main effect that should not be overlooked is that lack of sleep can have serious impacts on both physical and mental health. To clarify, insufficient rest can lead to fatigue, reduced concentration, and lower academic performance.
For example
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,
students
Use synonyms
 who do not get enough sleep may struggle to focus in class and retain information effectively.
Furthermore
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, long-term sleep deprivation can increase the risk of stress, anxiety, and weakened immune systems.
This
Linking Words
 can negatively affect
overall
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 well-being and daily functioning. To recapitulate, it is evident that
students
Use synonyms
 are sleeping less
due to
Linking Words
 increased use of technology and academic pressure,
while
Linking Words
 the main effects include health problems and reduced academic performance.
Therefore
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, it is important for
students
Use synonyms
 to manage their time effectively and prioritise sufficient rest to maintain their well-being.

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task response
Answer both parts with one more clear idea. This can make your response stronger.
task response
Give more direct effects on people, like mood, memory, or school results, with a short real example.
task response
Some examples are a bit general. Add one more specific detail to support your point.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow, but some linking words are used in a fixed way. Try a wider range.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main point, then explain it step by step.
coherence cohesion
You can improve flow by using shorter sentences in some parts.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on topic.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Linking words help connect your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic pressure
  • Workload
  • Screen time
  • Blue light
  • Melatonin
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Part-time jobs
  • Social factors
  • FOMO (fear of missing out)
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Stress
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Circadian rhythm
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