IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

you and your colleague would like to use a company room for staff break times but you need the managers permission. write a letter to your manager in your letter you should: explain the advantages of having a room for staffbreak times,suggest which room would be most suitable and why and say what changes to the room would be necessary

#colleague #company #room #staff #times #managers #permission #manager #staffbreak #changes
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Dear [Manager's Name], I hope
this
 message finds you well. I would like to propose the idea of designating a company room for
staff
 to use during break times. I believe having a dedicated space would offer significant advantages,
such
 as promoting relaxation and reducing stress, which ultimately boosts productivity. Among the available rooms, I believe [Room Name] would be the most suitable option. It is spacious, has natural light, and is centrally located, making it easily accessible for all
staff
 members. These features would create an ideal environment for short breaks away from work. To make the room more comfortable, I suggest a few simple improvements. Adding soft seating
such
 as armchairs or small couches would allow
staff
 to unwind comfortably. It would
also
 be helpful to include a few amenities like a coffee machine or a water cooler to encourage
staff
 to take regular breaks and stay hydrated. A clean and inviting environment for breaks would greatly enhance
staff
 morale and provide a much-needed escape from the usual work routine. I am confident
this
 change would be beneficial for everyone. Thank you for considering
this
 request. I look forward to your feedback. Sincerely,
Submitted by henikeassociates on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity.
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all the required points: advantages, room suggestion, and necessary changes.
Task Achievement
The tone is polite and formal, suitable for a letter to a manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter begins with a proper greeting and ends with a formal closing, enhancing the overall flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are logically structured, moving from the introduction to explanation, suggestion, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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