It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

It is undeniable that

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

advancement in medicine,

life

Use synonyms

expectancy has considerably increased

due to

Linking Words

which

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

population

Use synonyms

surpass the

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

younger

population

Use synonyms

in many parts of the world. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

it is a positive

as well as

Linking Words

negative development and the reasons behind will be explained in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are several advantages of having

aged

Correct article usage

an aged

show examples

population

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experience are parallel concepts, so they must have

wealth

Correct article usage

a wealth

show examples

of knowledge and wisdom which contributes a lot

Change preposition

show examples

the well-being of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Also

Linking Words

, with the help of

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

mentorship and better decision-making skills, they definitely

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

the betterment of the community.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, in many countries, old people play a crucial role in providing support to their families. They,

for example

Linking Words

, can look after children which

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

show examples

parents to concentrate on their professional

life

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

playing with

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

grandchildren, they

also

Linking Words

pass their expertise and knowledge to them.

As a result

Linking Words

, it helps them in becoming a person with great manners.

However

Linking Words

, the increasing number of elderly

population

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

bring problems.

Initially

Linking Words

, they are more likely to be a burden on

Correct article usage

the governmnet

show examples

governmnet

Correct your spelling

government

because owing to their condition, they can strain public healthcare systems and pension schemes, potentially leading to higher taxes and reduced services for all as most of the governmental institutes try to promote

hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

show examples

and age care facilities for them which

indicates

Change the verb form

indicate

show examples

more pressure on young people for paying high taxes.

Therefore

Linking Words

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

workforce feels stress and might face challenges in maintaining economic growth, forcing them to adapt by automating more jobs or

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraging

show examples

immigration.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

elder people provide us with great

life

Use synonyms

lessons and motivate us to go

further

Linking Words

in our

life

Use synonyms

, they

also

Linking Words

bring high pressure

Change preposition

show examples

tax payers

Correct your spelling

taxpayers

show examples

because they

also

Linking Words

healthcare

Add a missing verb

have healthcare

show examples

amenities in

adundance

Correct your spelling

abundance

Hence

Linking Words

, it is

neccessay

Correct your spelling

necessary

for maintaining a balance between both the

population

Use synonyms

k7jassu

Nov 17, 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring each paragraph has a central theme or main point. Currently, the ideas are somewhat introduced in a mixed manner.

relevant specific examples

Provide more specific examples to illustrate the points being made. These could include actual policies or case studies of countries facing an aging population.

logical structure

Improving logical flow can be achieved by using more transitioning words and ensuring the paragraphs connect smoothly in context and ideas.

complete response

You've demonstrated a balanced approach by examining both positive and negative aspects, which is crucial in IELTS Task 2 responses.

introduction conclusion present

A clear and structured introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a solid framework.

supported main points

The way you mention mentorship and knowledge transfer is effective in highlighting their contributions to society.

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18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

What to do next:

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all schools subjects .But other Believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are best at or they find the most interest .Discuss both views and give an opinion.

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books , Nowadays is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages pf this outweigh the advantages

: Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people think that the increase in the number of obese people should be the responsibility of the governments, while other think it should be the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion