Task 2 Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people all over the world. How can the government ensure that these all these people can live together harmoniously.
In recent years, there has been a growing concern about migration in each country in the world. the host country's residents should be more open-minded and tolerant as well.
This
issue has lead
to several problems , and the government has to do something to Wrong verb form
led
solve
.
There are many difficulties related to Correct pronoun usage
solve them
to
the migrants whoChange preposition
apply
are visit
one place to another . First and foremost these days new Change the verb form
are visiting
are visited
travelers
move to Change the spelling
travellers
another cities
in order to improve their financial condition. Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
As a result
, the
society experiencedCorrect article usage
apply
Correct article usage
a
considerably
increase Change the word
considerable
Change preposition
in their
their
employment rate . At the same Change the word
the
time
the authorities should provide free language and freedom Add a comma
time,
life
for new ones. Change preposition
of life
Then
, people of a range of many different nationalities would be able to learn to live together much more easily. In addition
Add a comma
,
Furthermore
traveling
is the best thing to create Change the spelling
travelling
multi-cultural
societies. The government of the cities have to introduce stringent laws Correct your spelling
multicultural
such
as equal salaries and behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
similarly
Change the word
similar
with
local residents. The big companies Change preposition
to
for example
can be considered
that their new employees have Wrong verb form
consider
a stable job opportunities
. If theseCorrect the article-noun agreement
stable job opportunities
a stable job opportunity
would be
more solutions Wrong verb form
were
that
mentioned above, not only many visitors send money Correct pronoun usage
apply
their
Change preposition
to their
home
to help family members but Fix the agreement mistake
homes
also
provide
to create more harmoniously.
In conclusion , Verb problem
apply
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
the
stable life for foreigners would Correct article usage
a
be
more comfortable and easy to live in other countries.Verb problem
make it
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words and phrases, which makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Provide additional examples and explanations to fully illustrate your ideas and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Review and correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to improve clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
The topic is addressed, and relevant issues concerning migration and multicultural living are identified and discussed.
task achievement
The essay touches on important aspects of multicultural integration such as language and employment, showing an understanding of diverse issues.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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