The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food

restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The bar chart illustrates how often
people
in the USA ate in fast
food
restaurants in three years involving 2003, 2006, and 2013.
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
consumed fast
food
once a
week
or at least once to twice a
week
. The percentage of
people
who
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
fast
food
every day is quite as many as those who never
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
it during the year. If we look at the details,
similarly
in mentioned years, under 5% of
people
ate
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. The results for those who never ate it were
also
the same. Just above 15% of
americans
Change the capitalization
Americans
show examples
in 2003 and 2013 consumed
this
kind of
food
several times a
week
but in 2006 the result was about one-fifth of the population.
People
who joined fast
food
restaurants once a
week
in 2006
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
exaclly
Correct your spelling
exactly
as many as those who joined once or twice a month in 2013 with just over 30% which was the highest percentage in the period.
Finally
, the percentage of those who ate fast
food
a few times a year in 2013 and 2006 compared to 2003 was 15% and above 10% respectively.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!