The percentage of زياده الوزن children in غربي society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
we will Discuss the causes of e why overweight
children
percentage in western society start
to increase in the Wrong verb form
has started
last
10 yeare
by 20%.
on Correct your spelling
years
year
one
hand , one of the causes for Correct article usage
the one
children
overweight
in Add a missing verb
being overweight
western
societyCapitalize word
Western
,
is Remove the comma
apply
the
not healthy Correct article usage
apply
foof
.in other Correct your spelling
food
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
Correct your spelling
food
fod
with a lot of fat and oilCorrect your spelling
food
make
the
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
weight
increase .for
Correct your spelling
For example
exampl
, the fast Correct your spelling
example
food
is the main cause of overweight
study Correct your spelling
pushed
plushed
Correct your spelling
found
in
New York Change preposition
at
university
that 80% Capitalize word
University
from
Change preposition
of
children
who eat a fast
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fast food
a portion of fast food
food
have more weight
than who
eat Correct pronoun usage
those who
a
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apply
Correct your spelling
healthy
helthy
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
on the other hand
. not move by
a normal way or Change preposition
in
plya
Correct your spelling
play
in
out Change preposition
apply
said
Verb problem
apply
withe
other Correct your spelling
with
kids
, and just stay it
home and watch Correct your spelling
at
tv
or play Correct your spelling
TV
wiht
Correct your spelling
with
them
phone all the timeChange the pronoun
their
cause
overweight . Verb problem
are
along with
. sport is an an important thing for a good helthe
and a good Correct your spelling
health
healthy
weight
.
in my opinion
the parent Add a comma
opinion,
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should
shuld
the caer about Correct your spelling
should
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
children
Change noun form
children's
weight
and them
Correct pronoun usage
their
kids
roten
like what did Correct your spelling
rotten
Correct your spelling
they
the
do and eat Correct your spelling
they
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
helty
Correct your spelling
healthy
hefty
food
with a lot of proten
for Correct your spelling
protein
Correct your spelling
example
exampl
Correct your spelling
example and
ind
Correct your spelling
and
make
a plan for Wrong verb form
making
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
children
is a
important thing and Change the article
an
dont
make Correct your spelling
don't
a
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apply
kids
play with a phone withe
a long time or just make them Correct your spelling
with
an
a tv , the need to go out said and play Replace the word
and
withe
a Correct your spelling
with
kids
withe
a same age and do sport in Correct your spelling
with
evry
day to move Correct your spelling
every
them
bodyChange the pronoun
their
in my opinion
Add the comma(s)
, in my opinion,
this
are
one of Change the verb form
is
importand
steep for a good Correct your spelling
important
weight
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer logical structure to your essay. Organize your ideas into paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states the topic and your opinion, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive ideas and explore the topic in depth. Elaborate further on points raised and ensure each point is clearly explained.
positive highlights
Try to maintain accuracy in language use, and avoid repetitions. Seek to use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures.
task achievement
You have identified several relevant causes contributing to the increase in overweight children in Western society, such as unhealthy eating habits and lack of physical activity.
task achievement
Your essay discusses specific examples like fast food consumption and sedentary lifestyles, making the argument more tangible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.