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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as smartphones, are making people socially less interactive. Discuss both views.

#people #inventions #smartphones
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Over the past couple of decades, there has been a major leap in technological innovation. Many individuals contend that technological innovations,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 phones , reduce
people
Use synonyms
's social activity.
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While others
Correct word choice
Others
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 believe that smartphones have made
people
Use synonyms
's lives much easier and made their communication easier. On the one hand, proponents of the negative impact of smartphones believe that the latest technologies reduce the desire and ability of
people
Use synonyms
 to meet and spend time in real life. And in some cases,
this
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 is true, because spending a huge amount of time, children or teenagers,
for example
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, do not get out of the virtual world at all, lose friends in reality and destroy connections with family and friends who are nearby.
Although
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this
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 is a fairly strong argument, there are still more positive consequences.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 believe that smartphones, video chats, tablets , and other virtual communication tools are a huge breakthrough in social interaction. With instant messaging, social media platforms, and video calls,
people
Use synonyms
 can connect with friends and family around the world at any time .
For example
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, families separated by long distances can maintain close connections through regular video chats, creating a sense of intimacy that transcends physical space. In conclusion,
people
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 have different opinions on whether new inventions made social interaction
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 minimum or not. I strongly
consider
Verb problem
believe
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this
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 has improved the socialisation of mankind despite the minor issues related to excessive usage.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by clearly segmenting different viewpoints for easier readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Try to further support your main points with more specific examples or evidence to enhance argument depth.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea with a clear topic sentence to improve logical development.
task achievement
Maintain balanced viewpoints by equally discussing both sides of the argument with similar depth for task completion.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a good effort in introducing the topic and concluding with a personal stance, helping frame the reader's understanding.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by addressing both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, which aids in conveying the writer's stance clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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