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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given picture illustrates a public
park
Use synonyms
 named Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in two periods. The diagram demonstrates the
park
Use synonyms
 when it was built in 1920 and in the present.
Overall
Linking Words
, the entrances and one of the
rose
Use synonyms
 gardens were unchanged.
However
Linking Words
, the fountain, stage for musicians, glasshouse, pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants, a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 and four
seats
Use synonyms
 were removed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, two
rose
Use synonyms
 gardens and four of the
seats
Use synonyms
’ locations were transformed.
Also
Linking Words
, an Amphitheatre for concerts, a café, a
water
Use synonyms
 feature, a children’s play area and an
entrance
Use synonyms
 underground car
park
Use synonyms
 were built. The
entrance
Use synonyms
 and a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 above, near Arnold Avenue were not modified.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 and the pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants were replaced by a café and a children’s play area on the up-right side respectively.
subsequently
Linking Words
, the
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 was unmodified and two
seats
Use synonyms
 were removed on the up-left border. The stage for musicians and fountain was replaced by an Amphitheatre for concerts and
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 and four
seats
Use synonyms
 in the middle of the
park
Use synonyms
. The
entrance
Use synonyms
 near Eldon Street on the downside was not revised.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the glasshouse and the
seats
Use synonyms
 were replaced by a
water
Use synonyms
 feature and an
entrance
Use synonyms
 underground car
park
Use synonyms
 on the right-hand side.
Also
Linking Words
, the
seats
Use synonyms
 and
rose
Use synonyms
garden
Use synonyms
 were removed on the left-hand bottom.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, rose, water, garden, seats, entrance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • landscape
  • amenities
  • renovation
  • transformation
  • accessible
  • visitor demographics
  • green space
  • heritage
  • floral arrangements
  • commemorative
  • infrastructure
  • pathways
  • interactive areas
  • natural habitat
  • community engagement
  • urban planning
  • conservation efforts
  • public facilities
  • recreation areas
  • environmentally friendly
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