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Band 5.5

Ensuring that regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lesson as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

#exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lesson #part #curriculum
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People have different opinions of physical exercise. They believe it is only the responsibility of the parents,
However
, educational institutions should not include any sports course in their curriculum,
consideringit
Correct your spelling
considering it
considering
Add a missing verb
is awaste
show examples
awaste
Correct your spelling
a waste
waste
 of time. I completely disagree with the idea and
This
 Essay will discuss my position with relevant examples.
Firstly
, inter-institutional competition Could be a reason for providing lessons in different sorts of sports events.
For example
, in Bangladesh, there was an indoor cricket competition held every year powered by UGC.
Students
 Who were good at cricket got chances to do practices and keep their bodies fit for that.
Moreover
, when a player plays an outstanding knock, he may get a chance to represent his country, which is a glorious moment for him.
Secondly
, parents have some
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 to give a proper environment for daily exercise.
However
, at
Home
Students
 Should focus on their homework, class tests, and other exams rather than physical activities.
For example
,
Sher-e-bangla
Change the capitalization
Sher-e-Bangla
show examples
 Agricultural University takes 3 final exams in a semester, which Forces
Students
 To read at
Home
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
preparation
Replace the word
prepare
show examples
 for these exams.
On the other hand
, the University
Also
 Provided multiple tournaments for the
Students
, which is obligatory for all classes of
Students
.
Therefore
, they have to go to The field and do practices which is essential for growth and Staying Healthy.
To conclude
, though, parents
also
 Should have a responsibility to work out at
home
, but
home
 is for study. I strongly believe that educational institutes are the primary place to Keep fit and exercise by arranging multiple tournaments, a well-developed gym, and courses.
Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on

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task achievement
Expand on the reasons why schools should include sports in their curriculum, perhaps by addressing health benefits or skill development.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues to enhance readability.
task achievement
Clear stance against the exclusion of sports from the school curriculum with supporting examples.
task achievement
Effective use of examples, such as the cricket tournament, to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Linked ideas well between paragraphs, making the essay flow logically.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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