It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #bothh #teir #lives #yo

The journey of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

force

Correct subject-verb agreement

forces

show examples

people to take

risks

and hard

discision

Correct your spelling

decision

decisions

;

However

, there are sometimes

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the choice to choose between

risky

Correct article usage

a risky

show examples

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

choose

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

one.

In addition

its

Correct your spelling

it's

show examples

argued that the

advantades

Correct your spelling

advantages

of taking

risks

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the disadvantages. In my opinion, I think that the advantages of

taking

Correct your spelling

making

show examples

hard

Correct article usage

a hard

show examples

discision

Correct your spelling

decision

decisions

are more than

doesnt

Correct your spelling

doesn't

take it because

challanges promot

Correct your spelling

challenges promote

your

joutney

Correct your spelling

journey

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

level.

Although

they have many

risks

. To

bigun

Correct your spelling

begin

with,

difficults

Correct your spelling

difficulties

that we take enhance us, in spite of

they

Correct word choice

whether they

show examples

successed

Correct your spelling

succeeded

succeed

failed

Wrong verb form

fail

show examples

This

is because we will leave our comfort zone to achieve our goals, and we are

goinng

Correct your spelling

going

to adapt

with

Change preposition

show examples

any

challange

Correct your spelling

challenge

we face.

In addition

, we can't improve our level without having challenges

eathier

Correct your spelling

either

it's professional or personal.

For instance

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

study by

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of Prince Sultan (PSU) has shown that 70%

from

Change preposition

show examples

people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

preffer

Correct your spelling

prefer

taking

difficults

Correct your spelling

difficult

difficulties

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

don't

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

better

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

professioanl

Correct your spelling

professional

and personal

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

However

, we have not

forget

Change the verb form

forgotten

show examples

that taking

risks

without awareness

about

Change preposition

show examples

will

Correct pronoun usage

what will

show examples

happen

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

an unrelistic

show examples

unrelistic

Correct your spelling

unrealistic

choice. For

this

reseans

Correct your spelling

reason

, in some

situations

Add a comma

situations,

show examples

cant

Correct your spelling

can't

show examples

take the

challange

Correct your spelling

challenge

if we

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

zero.

Furthermore

, some people have

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

thay

Correct your spelling

they

that

have

Add the particle

have to

show examples

take care

about

Change preposition

show examples

them, in

this

situation we

reduces

Change the verb form

reduce

show examples

the

risks

because you are not

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

person who will affected. Staying

Change preposition

show examples

your level

better

Add a missing verb

is better

show examples

than

lossing

Correct your spelling

losing

every thing

Correct your spelling

everything

show examples

, so count the steps that you take before walking onto the

sterr

Correct your spelling

street

. In conclusion,

risks

Change the verb form

are

show examples

crucail

Correct your spelling

crucial

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

your situation and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

the negatives.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

if you have a family or a big responsibility you have to take care

from

Change preposition

show examples

drobing

Correct your spelling

dropping

big

drob

Correct your spelling

drop

drops

Furthermore

, study your ability very well and always try to leave your comfort zone to be better day by day.

Submitted by abdallah550603 on Sun Nov 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly states your main argument or position and outlines the points you'll discuss.

Task Achievement

Develop each main point in its own paragraph and provide specific examples to support your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use transitional phrases to better connect your ideas between and within paragraphs, improving the logical flow.

Task Achievement

Your essay reflects an understanding that taking risks can lead to personal and professional development.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion reiterates the main points, aiming to create a balanced view between risks and responsibilities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
70Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reason for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work.why do you think it is happening?do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantage.