The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
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The given line chart provides information on how many visitors visited a Caribbean island by staying on a Peninsula and staying on cruise ships over a 7-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
from
Perspective
Correct determiner usage
this Perspective
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, It is
a
Change the article
apply
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readily apparent that the highest number of tourists visited the place in total throughout the period. In 2010, visitors who settled down on the archipelago witnessed an upward trend, starting from well over 0.5
million
Use synonyms
to reaching
peak
Add an article
a peak
the peak
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of 2
million
Use synonyms
people by 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of travellers who settled on cruise ships
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced a dramatic increase
at
Change preposition
to
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about 2
million
Use synonyms
, which was a half-time higher than the number of visitors on the island, by 2017. In total, The figure for travellers showed a significant rise, which started from 1
million
Use synonyms
in 2010 leading to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
people, in 2017.
Submitted by kingdom_myheart on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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