Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that Capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and Disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

#people #advocate #death #penalty #crimes #punishment #society

Enormous effort is put into researching and debating the merits and demerits of capital punishment.

Therefore

, from my personal perspective, it is a very complex issue with valid arguments on both sides. We will

discussed

Change the verb form

discuss

show examples

about

Remove the preposition

apply

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both advantages and disadvantages of capital punishment.

First

Correct article usage

The first

show examples

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

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is that

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apply

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proponents of the

death

penalty

argue that it can decrease

crime

all over the world and

people

can live in a peaceful world. Because

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

can motivate

people

for

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stay away from

crime

and other bad behaviours.

For example

last

month

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saw statistics about specific countries which applied the

death

penalty

, the percentage of

crime

sharply dipped each year.

Death

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The death

show examples

penalty

can be considered

unsuitable

Correct article usage

an unsuitable

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punishment for several reasons. The strongest argument is that we have no

rights

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right

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to kill other humans.

Right

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The right

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to live is the basic right of any human being, and no one can disobey

this

right, irrespective of the person’s deeds.

Moreover

, innocent

people

can face wrongful execution.

Such

unfair sentences take away

lives

Correct article usage

the lives

show examples

of innocent

people

and make other citizens lose faith in law and justice. And

besides

, sometimes criminals repent of their acts. In

this

case

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case,

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they should be given a second chance to improve themselves. In conclusion, the

death

penalty

very

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a very

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complex problem with both advantages and disadvantages.

While

it may offer some benefits like decreasing

crime

, costs the economy.

However

, it can

also

be create

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create

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big problems in the world.

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Sun Nov 17 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your supporting points with specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument. For instance, you mentioned a statistic about crime rates but did not provide specific details on where this occurred or the context.

task achievement

Enhance your ideas by diving deeper into the societal impact of both supporting and opposing the death penalty. This will help provide a more comprehensive examination of both sides.

coherence cohesion

Focus on refining the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single point, which is then supported by relevant information.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of points to maintain clarity and focus. Make sure each sentence contributes a new idea or perspective to the paragraph.

introduction conclusion present

You have constructed a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion about the death penalty.

task achievement

You have presented both sides of the debate on capital punishment, which is excellent in addressing the prompt comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The essay flows well from one point to the next, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Advocates
Capital punishment
Contemporary society
Violent crimes
Deterrence
Retribution
Cost-effectiveness
Imprisonment
Innocent
Unethical
Inhumane
Misuse
Legal systems
Heinous crimes
Closure
Moral concerns

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Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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