Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays era, it is easy to find some kids that glued to their

smartphons

Correct your spelling

smartphones

smartphone

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

While

Linking Words

it brings some positive

feedbacks

Fix the agreement mistake

feedback

show examples

, spending excessive time on

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

brings more

harms

Fix the agreement mistake

harm

show examples

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good. There are several reasons why some children spend hours every day on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

, one of the main reasons is for educational purposes. The advance of technology makes it possible for educators and learners to have online classes, where they can attend the class anywhere.

In addition

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students access materials online to get their

homeworks

Correct your spelling

homework

done and

smartphones

Use synonyms

make it very

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

show examples

and efficient.

While

Linking Words

it seems to be a positive development,

however

Linking Words

smartphones

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

provide

Remove the article

apply

show examples

easy access to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment that

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to distractions.

Example

Change preposition

For example

show examples

while

Linking Words

doing research on their homework, some students get distracted and prefer to open

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media

instead

Linking Words

As a result

Linking Words

, they spend more time on social media

instead

Linking Words

of getting their homework done.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, spending too much time on

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

leads to mental and physical health.

Smartphones

Use synonyms

allow children to just sit alone

while

Linking Words

interact

Change the verb form

interacting

show examples

with others,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

leads to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of social skills in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life.

Smartphones

Use synonyms

offer endless

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

such

Linking Words

as games and social media.

For example

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of playing soccer or hanging out with their peers

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children prefer to stay inside their

room

Fix the agreement mistake

rooms

show examples

playing online

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

smartphones

Use synonyms

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

some convenience for educational

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is

also

Linking Words

provide a great distraction.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the extensive usage of

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

could lead to physical and mental health.

kkomariyah92Mon Nov 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

style

Try using more varied and advanced sentence structures to enhance the readability and engagement of your essay.

evidence

Provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your points. For instance, mention specific studies or facts about smartphone usage among children.

structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by well-developed supporting sentences, which will boost the overall coherence.

introduction

The introduction effectively sets up the problem and clearly states your position on the matter.

task

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by identifying reasons for children's smartphone usage and taking a stand on its impact.

analysis

You make some insightful observations about the potential distractions and health consequences associated with excessive smartphone use.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others beleive they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your opinion.
The discussion on whether highly expert people should serve the nation where they were trained or they should migrate to another country as they want is a controversial one. Some people opine that, professionals should practice where they get their training, whereas others argue that they should choose where they want to work. In my opinion, everyone has the right to select where they want to pursue their career but at the same time, they have some responsibilities to mankind.
8
band
The desire for higher status or greater wealth than others is what motivates most people to succeed in the world. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There is a belief that what encourages most individuals to attain accomplishments is the ambitious seek of greater position and wealth. In my perspective, I align with this point of view for the following reasons.
7.5
band
You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by a selection of individuals that essential technologies such as smartphones should be restricted in public areas like libraries, shops and public transport. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
6.5
band
Space explorations costs tax payers an extra orbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space explorations?
There is an ongoing debate regarding the amount of taxes paid on space explorations. The advantage of it is the space itself being closer to us on Earth each day. However, the disadvantage could be an inefficient distribution of government funds. In this essay, I will explain more regarding the topic.
6.5
band
Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?
An increasing number of people trust alternative medicine instead of conventional medicine. In my opinion, this is a negative development which can lead to deterioration in health and wasteful spending.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others beleive they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both views and give your opinion.

The desire for higher status or greater wealth than others is what motivates most people to succeed in the world. To what extent do you agree with the statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

You should spend about 40 mins. Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Space explorations costs tax payers an extra orbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space explorations?

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?