Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays era, it is easy to find some kids that glued to their

smartphons

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smartphones

smartphone

everyday

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every day

show examples

While

it brings some positive

feedbacks

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feedback

show examples

, spending excessive time on

smartphone

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smartphones

show examples

everyday

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every day

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brings more

harms

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harm

show examples

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good. There are several reasons why some children spend hours every day on their

smartphones

, one of the main reasons is for educational purposes. The advance of technology makes it possible for educators and learners to have online classes, where they can attend the class anywhere.

In addition

, most

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apply

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students access materials online to get their

homeworks

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homework

done and

smartphones

make it very

convenience

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convenient

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and efficient.

While

it seems to be a positive development,

however

smartphones

also

provide

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apply

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easy access to

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apply

show examples

entertainment that

lead

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leads

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to distractions.

Example

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For example

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while

doing research on their homework, some students get distracted and prefer to open

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apply

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social media

instead

As a result

, they spend more time on social media

instead

of getting their homework done.

Furthermore

, spending too much time on

smartphone

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smartphones

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leads to mental and physical health.

Smartphones

allow children to just sit alone

while

interact

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interacting

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with others,

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which

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leads to

the

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lack of social skills in

the

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apply

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real life.

Smartphones

offer endless

entertainments

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entertainment

show examples

such

as games and social media.

For example

instead

of playing soccer or hanging out with their peers

but

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apply

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children prefer to stay inside their

room

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rooms

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playing online

game

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games

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. In conclusion,

while

smartphones

brings

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bring

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some convenience for educational

purpose

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purposes

show examples

but

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apply

show examples

it is

also

provide a great distraction.

Moreover

, the extensive usage of

smartphone

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smartphones

show examples

could lead to physical and mental health.

Submitted by kkomariyah92 on Mon Nov 18 2024

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style

Try using more varied and advanced sentence structures to enhance the readability and engagement of your essay.

evidence

Provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your points. For instance, mention specific studies or facts about smartphone usage among children.

structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by well-developed supporting sentences, which will boost the overall coherence.

introduction

The introduction effectively sets up the problem and clearly states your position on the matter.

task

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by identifying reasons for children's smartphone usage and taking a stand on its impact.

analysis

You make some insightful observations about the potential distractions and health consequences associated with excessive smartphone use.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

The popularity of news media often has been significantly influential in people's lives. Some people believe this to be a negative development. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?