TOPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

#topic #years #structure #role #members #kinds #changes

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Nowadays, we might see many

men

Use synonyms

who can do

houseworking

Correct your spelling

housework

house working

or we might see many women who can repair cars.

Change preposition

Over

show examples

the years, everything has been changing and they have a lot of effects.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain the role of family members are affected positively and negatively. İn the past, tasks in houses are different and

everyone

Use synonyms

is responsible

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

own

work

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, women should Cook, do cleaning, care

Change preposition

for

show examples

their babies and should not go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work

Use synonyms

outside.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the

men

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can

work

Use synonyms

outside and bring the money

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

home. If there were some works

need

Correct pronoun usage

that need

show examples

strong

Replace the word

strength

show examples

, the

men

Use synonyms

could do without help.

Additionally

Linking Words

, these were acceptable things in the world. If we examine

this

Linking Words

structure,

everyone

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can do their

work

Use synonyms

in a perfect way.

However

Linking Words

, the world has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

changed one Day,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started to get

our

Correct your spelling

out

show examples

of their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

and they can

reliaze

Correct your spelling

realise

that they

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

works

Correct article usage

the works

show examples

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

. The

men

Use synonyms

seeing

this

Linking Words

happening, they have begun to think that they must help

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

wifes

Correct your spelling

wives

show examples

at home. So,

everyone

Use synonyms

can start to try

anythingelse

Correct your spelling

anything else

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they would like to do.

Finally

Linking Words

, mums feel their

motherhoods

Fix the agreement mistake

motherhood

show examples

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not enough,

dads

Correct word choice

and dads

show examples

or husbands feel their fatherhood or partnership

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not enough as well. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

everyone

Use synonyms

knows everything, they do not need each other.

This

Linking Words

is the most important negative effect. İn conclusion, we might see in the future

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

changeable life for us. Both of these effects must have

accepted

Add a missing verb

been accepted

show examples

in the

spinnig

Correct your spelling

spinning

world.

Submitted by denizkevser08 on Mon Nov 18 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Clarify your argument by organizing your points more logically. Consider each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of change within family roles, and ensure that there is a clear link between all sections.

Task Achievement

Enhance your task response by expanding on how the changes in family roles impact society as a whole. Provide more examples that demonstrate both positive and negative effects.

Introduction

Your introduction provides a clear premise for the essay, explaining the changes within family roles and setting up for further exploration.

Task Achievement

Your essay attempts to address both the positive and negative aspects of changing family roles, which adds depth to your response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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TOPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

Your opinion

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

B.Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some educationist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?