In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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No,it is because
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the utilized percentage of space in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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may
decreased
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decrease
be decreased
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. Some city is small like
HongKong
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Hong Kong
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,there is
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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no
Correct your spelling
not
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enough space to build
up
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apply
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houses ,especially,people who like to grow food and vegetable are fewer in society,
therefore
,government should
using
Wrong verb form
use
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space to develop buildings
insteat
Correct your spelling
instead
of changed into gardens.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your essay better. This helps in presenting a balanced view and summing up your thoughts clearly.
logical structure
Include more logically structured arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and examples to enhance cohesion.
complete response
Expand on your ideas with more depth. Explain why space is a critical issue in cities like Hong Kong and how public parks' conversion impacts the community.
relevant specific examples
Try to include relevant examples or statistics to support your arguments, such as data on housing shortages or examples of urban agriculture in other cities.
supported main points
You correctly identified a key disadvantage of converting parks to gardens by focusing on space utilization in cramped cities.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community engagement
  • Public health
  • Physical activity
  • Educational opportunities
  • Sustainability
  • Urban greening
  • Heat island effect
  • Air quality
  • Biodiversity
  • Recreational activities
  • Maintenance challenges
  • Allocation of responsibilities
  • Social inequality
  • Garden plots
  • Fairness concerns
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