In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

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In recent years, the difficulty of finding a job in the market increased throughout the years.

This

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phenomenon requires people to find work outside their city which makes them move away from their relatives .

Although

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there are surely some disadvantages, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. To my way of thinking, living away from families or friends is not entirely a terrible decision. By moving out to another place we can

experience

Use synonyms

a completely different life that requires us to step out of our comfort zone.

This

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can shape your maturity to face the real professional world.

Additionally

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, we can

also

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meet a lot of new community who later become our friends and family.

For instance

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, in my own

experience

Use synonyms

, I have moved away to different cities for my work.

This

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opportunity gave me an amazing and fascinating

experience

Use synonyms

in my life that shaped who I am today.

However

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this

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experience

Use synonyms

can vary for each individual. For some people, moving away from their loved ones is a nightmare that might lead to a struggle to fit into a new society. Not everyone enjoys stepping out of their comfort zone.

As a result

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, not a few people prefer to move back to their place because they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

survive living alone in a foreign environment. In conclusion,

although

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there is a negative aspect associated with living away from home to find work, I believe that the advantages significantly making them outweigh the existing disadvantages.

Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on Mon Nov 18 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to fully address the question prompt. Consider expanding more on the disadvantages to create a more balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main idea is clearly stated and supported by logical examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly articulate the writer's position.

task achievement

The essay uses relevant examples from personal experience to support main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2 Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?