In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development

In recent years, the difficulty of finding a job in the market increased throughout the years.

This

phenomenon requires people to find work outside their city which makes them move away from their relatives .

Although

there are surely some disadvantages, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. To my way of thinking, living away from families or friends is not entirely a terrible decision. By moving out to another place we can

experience

a completely different life that requires us to step out of our comfort zone.

This

can shape your maturity to face the real professional world.

Additionally

, we can

also

meet a lot of new community who later become our friends and family.

For instance

, in my own

experience

, I have moved away to different cities for my work.

This

opportunity gave me an amazing and fascinating

experience

in my life that shaped who I am today.

However

this

experience

can vary for each individual. For some people, moving away from their loved ones is a nightmare that might lead to a struggle to fit into a new society. Not everyone enjoys stepping out of their comfort zone.

As a result

, not a few people prefer to move back to their place because they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

survive living alone in a foreign environment. In conclusion,

although

there is a negative aspect associated with living away from home to find work, I believe that the advantages significantly making them outweigh the existing disadvantages.

Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on Mon Nov 18 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to fully address the question prompt. Consider expanding more on the disadvantages to create a more balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main idea is clearly stated and supported by logical examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly articulate the writer's position.

task achievement

The essay uses relevant examples from personal experience to support main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to live in rented homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

Modern buildings appear in large numbers, but some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign languagecan cause serious social problems, as well practical problems

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be rewuired to work in the country where they did their trainig. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.