Today, many people believe that celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Given the huge achievements in
the
modern technology, and especially Correct article usage
apply
the
social media, famous Correct article usage
apply
persons
are becoming more popular. They are followed by an array of their fans all over the world, which Replace the word
people
is
led to Verb problem
has
increase
their revenues in comparison with other Correct article usage
an increase
occupation
, like senior politicians. The reasons Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
of
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon and my point of view about positive
or negative aspects of that will be described in Correct article usage
the positive
this
essay.
According to
the overusing
of new applications and the internet, most people Replace the word
overuse
wedded
to following Add a missing verb
are wedded
the
celebrities Correct article usage
apply
as well as
their life style
. So, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
the
most commercial companies, Correct article usage
apply
such
as advertisement institutions whose their sells dependent on the number of customers and viewers, prefer to sign a contract with a well-known person instead
of other individuals. In addition
, their fans occasionally buy companies' accessories just for their hero.
Although
it has different kinds of positive aspects, both for people and the
celebrities, the negative development of Correct article usage
apply
this
action should not be ignored. Addicting, for instance
, is a drawback consequence of utilizing this
way. Moreover
, it can be exerted in children who are not completely aware of the results of these behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
furthermore
, unfortunately, some famous persons sign a contract without being ensure about the quality of products, and it will be led
to disasterWrong verb form
lead
,
if that company Remove the comma
apply
is fly
by night.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
flies
a
part from Correct article usage
apply
positive
side of Add an article
the positive
this
view, which well-known
person who is popular can Correct article usage
a well-known
earns
income by his or her efforts more than others, I opine that all Change the verb form
earn
pays
should be in proportion to Change the verb form
pay
everyone
responsibility Change noun form
everyone's
as well as
their jobs' difficulty.Submitted by mortezashamsa on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea to enhance understanding. Try dividing the ideas more precisely.
Task Response
Use more diverse and precise vocabulary to express ideas clearly.
Task Response
When presenting examples or arguments, provide specific details to strengthen your reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and intention of the essay.
Task Achievement
You correctly identified reasons why celebrities might earn more than politicians, which aligns with the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
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