IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

there is a public park near where you live. you have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. write a letter to local newspaper. in your letter: • introduce yourself • describe the importance of the park • say what action you will take if the council continues with this plan.

#park #council #newspaper #importance #action #plan
Dear Sir or Madam The main reason why I am addressing you is that I want to express my disapproval against putting local parks up for sale and suggest some alternatives. First things First let me introduce myself. my name is lord mike who has been living in
this
 city for more than a decade I live on the opposite street of the park . I oppose
this
 auction for Several reasons one of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 reasons is that green space is the only one in
this
 town and covers huge space
also
 it serves a lot of the Neighborhoods
also
it's consider
Change the verb form
it's considered
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to
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a place of Gathering and doing a lot of family activity , the big Area it covers benefits the town and make it more appealing to move to it , on top of the point I had mentioned for all the people had live in our town Memories in it that led strong Connection in our heart for that spot . I hope you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
consider not selling the park for the Value it
held
Wrong verb form
holds
show examples
 in the heart of our people. Best regards, lord, mike.
Submitted by broof.a1993 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your letter into clear paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For instance, use separate sections to talk about your introduction, the park's importance, and the actions you will take.
Task Achievement
Include more specific actions you plan to take if the council proceeds with the sale to demonstrate a complete response.
Task Achievement
Use a formal tone throughout the letter and avoid informal phrases like 'First things First' or 'on top of the point'.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly expresses disapproval and gives reasons for it, showing engagement with the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, showing clear greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affiliation
  • recreational space
  • habitat
  • environmental well-being
  • community gatherings
  • tranquility
  • negative impacts
  • petition
  • collaborating
  • voice their concerns
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