More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
suffer from obesity and also
it makes
lots of Verb problem
causes
problem
in their lifestyle. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Also
, availability
of fattening products Correct article usage
the availability
have
been Change the verb form
has
Add an article
an increase
increase
during Change the verb form
increasing
increased
last
decades. Correct article usage
the last
This
mean
that if we can not Change the verb form
means
control
consumption
of them, we will face Correct pronoun usage
our consumption
with
many problems in the future. I agree that growth of the fattening Change preposition
apply
food’s
Change noun form
food
price
is a useful solution. In Fix the agreement mistake
prices
this
essay
I will explain why.
Some Add a comma
essay,
people
believe that eating fast food
is more affordable than healthy food
. Also
, some of them do not want the government or other organs prescribe
their diet. It Fix the infinitive
to prescribe
is argue
that they are not open to criticism, so in my opinion in Change the verb form
is argued
this
situation
the government has a crucial role Add a comma
situation,
to
Change preposition
in controlling
control
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
of
junk Change preposition
for
food
by increase
Replace the word
increasing
price
of Correct article usage
the price
them
. Correct pronoun usage
it
Otherwise
, many people
such
as young
generation at risk of various health problems.
As a matter of fact, Correct article usage
the young
junk
Add an article
the junk
food
industry has developed and gets
so much publicity is helped Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
apply
people
forgot
their healthy diet. And Wrong verb form
forget
other
reason is because of Change the wording
another
low
Correct article usage
the low
price
and supply of these kind
of products encourage Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
people
to buy. If the prices of unhealthy foods were raised, people
might prefer to buy healthier alternatives such
as fruits, vegetables or home-made meals, which make fit
and healthy generation. Correct article usage
a fit
In addition
, they are more likely to pay attention to what they consume when they realize that unhealthy foods are becoming more expensive.
In conclusion, increasing price
of fatten foods can be Correct article usage
the price
effective
way to Add an article
an effective
control
obesity by discourage
Change the verb form
discouraging
people
to buy
them, Change preposition
from buying
However
, it is not the only solution for control
obesity, behind Replace the word
controlling
of
Change preposition
apply
it
we need more opportunities like preparing suitable gyms, health campaigns or educational programs. Correct pronoun usage
apply
While
it can play a significant role.Submitted by writing9.pry221 on
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Complete Response
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task directly and explicitly to achieve a complete response.
Relevant Specific Examples
Work on providing more concrete, specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Logical Structure
Clarify the main points and organize ideas logically, using linking words and phrases to achieve better coherence.
Logical Structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea to maintain cohesion throughout the essay.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Provide more detailed discussions to ensure clarity and comprehensiveness in expressing your main ideas.
Introduction Conclusion Present
The introduction successfully sets the context of the essay by addressing the issue of obesity and availability of fattening foods, and clearly states a position on the topic.
Introduction Conclusion Present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument and suggests additional solutions, providing a sense of closure.
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