Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
essay
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essay,
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we are going to discuss two opinions about
an
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the
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effect of
competitions
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competition
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on people’s
life
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lives
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. One part of
population
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the population
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considers
this
influence to be a good thing. Another part thinks vice-versa. Personally, I believe that we should find a balance in
this
question. On the one hand , we are surrounded by diverse
competitions
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competition
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from
the
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a
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very early age.
For example
, quizzes , exams,
individual
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and individual
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or group
works
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work
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are essential to create
educational
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an educational
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environment at schools. They consist of different tasks which show the best student out of everyone. Children learn how to improve their
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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in order to get high marks.
This
could be a strong motivation for them.
Additionally
, competition can encourage adults through high salaries and a wonderful career.
For instance
,
more
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the more
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people work the better, precisely if their work
done
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is done
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well. Humans would compete with one another to distinguish themselves and gain respect to achieve career success.
On the other hand
, stress and depression could be maintained by
competitional
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competitive
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conditions. To illustrate , DIM exams in my country are very stressful for teenagers.
Future
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The future
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of numerous
youth
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youths
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could depend on
results
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the results
show examples
of these tests. Parents could place
hopes
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hope
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in their children.
However
, teenagers are frightened to disappoint them.
Moreover
,
competences
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competencies
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could cause a hostile atmosphere at work. People might not be friendly with colleagues because of jealousy. In conclusion, from my point of view, we should find a perfect balance to stabilize aspects which could enhance our skills in every way. Merely
us
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we
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could know what are our
weakness
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weaknesses
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and strong sides. If we sum them
, the
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up, the
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result could guide and give a path to what makes life better; working together or quite the contrary.
Submitted by nana_skylife on

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported with specific examples or further explanations to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to make the argument in each paragraph clear and distinct to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Proofread to correct small language inaccuracies and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument and concludes with a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the essay.
task achievement
The use of examples in discussing both views enhances the reader's understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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