IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the coming
time
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, a lot of
people
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 will spend their vacation in their home
country
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 rather than overseas. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
people
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 will miss their family
members
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 and they will miss their local
foods
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. Family
members
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 are always
first
Add an article
the first
a first
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 priority for everyone's life.
However
Linking Words
, for more better life and study
people
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 often live outside
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the home.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they certainly miss their family
members
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 and want to meet with them.
For example
Linking Words
, for higher study and a better
career
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career,
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 I came to Canada in 2022, but after spending a few months I realised that it is really hard to spend a long
time
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 with family
members
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending
time
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 alone during the festival was more hard. The local
foods
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 attract some
people
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 to go back to their hometown
for
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to
show examples
 spend
time
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 there. A lot of food lovers really love to eat what they used to eat.
However
Linking Words
, for study or work where they
live
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live,
show examples
 it is really hard to find those types of local
foods
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, I live in Vancouver but I love to eat Khasshi Biriyani sometimes. As it is the local food of Dhaka I never found it there. So, I am planning to go back to Dhaka
in
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apply
show examples
next summer just
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to eat my
favorite
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favourite
show examples
foods
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. In conclusion, as
people
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 are often living outside of their
country
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so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they do not just miss their family
members
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, they
also
Linking Words
 miss their special
foods
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 will spend their off
time
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 in their mother
country
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 rather than outside of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 home
country
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.

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language
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence. Phrases like "more better" and "outside of their home" should be corrected to "better" and "outside their home". Pay attention to tense consistency, such as using past tense and present tense appropriately.
content development
Include a wider variety of examples or elaborations to support your main points. You can also address potential counterarguments or provide reasons why some people might still prefer traveling abroad, which could strengthen your argument.
structuring
Enhance transitions between ideas. While the ideas presented are logical, smoother transitions through linking words such as 'Furthermore', 'Additionally', or 'Consequently' can help the essay flow better.
content relevance
The essay provides logical reasons supporting the view, making it clear why domestic holidays might be preferred in the future. This supports the task of discussing why one might agree with the given statement.
example use
The personal examples shared, such as the difficulty of finding local foods, effectively illustrate the main points and add authenticity to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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