IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree？

#countries #refugees #assistance #food #disagree？
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Weather
Correct your spelling
Whether
show examples
 wealthy
countries
 should accept more
refugees
 and provide them with basic support or not
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a moral consideration. I strongly agree these
countries
 to take the
responsibly
Replace the word
responsibility
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 to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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support
with
Change preposition
for
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 the following reasons.
Firstly
,
this
 issue is crucial for moral responsibility.
The refugee
Correct article usage
Refugee
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 usually
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people facing
the
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apply
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war fighting
Correct your spelling
warfighting
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 or violence. They give up everything and even their hometowns to ask
support
Change preposition
for support
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for
Change preposition
from
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 other
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
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. If the wealthy
countries
 have sufficient resources, it is
undeniably
Change the word
undeniable
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 they should help
these refugee
Change the determiner
this refugee
these refugees
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to
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apply
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over come
Correct your spelling
overcome
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this
 difficult situation. Only food, area and safety are basic resources but it is already crucial and good enough for
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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human responsibility.
On the other hand
,
refugee
Fix the agreement mistake
refugees
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 often have valuable
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and working experience. Helping
refugees
 can have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive economic impact and benefit the country. By their own working experience, they can contribute to the
countries
 by filling the job vacancies, doing their business and paying taxes to their host country.
For example
, Europe is representative
to
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of
show examples
 welcoming
the
Correct article usage
apply
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refugees
 and
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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resources and job opportunities
Additionally
, it is
also
 effective
of
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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wealthy
countries
can offer
Verb problem
to
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 provide more education and training programs to enhance their working skill and knowledge.
Then
 they can adapt
the
Change preposition
to the
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 new environment, fostering
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of community and understanding. In conclusion, wealthy
countries
 should accept more
refugees
 and offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic assistance. It is
moral
Add an article
a moral
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 obligation and
also
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 impact
for
Change preposition
on
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 both
refugees
 and the host
countries
Submitted by emilychoi.pp on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on specific examples when discussing economic impacts and integrating refugees into the workforce to further substantiate your claims.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the depth of your arguments by using more detailed and specific evidence related to the current refugee crisis.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents your standpoint, setting a clear stage for the discussion.
logical structure
Each main point is logically organized, which contributes to the essay's overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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