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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

#books #men #women #burnaby #library
The presented line graph compares the reading book
numbers
 between
men
 and
women
 at Burnaby Public Library in a four-year period starting from 2011. It is evident that the
figure
 for both genders read how many
books
 in public library.just remained steadily
increaed
Correct your spelling
increased
 from 2011 to 2014,
while
 the reading
numbers
 of
women
 rose to a peak in 2013 and declined to
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 first place. In detail, males and females read 3000 and 5000
books
 respectively in 2011. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 read by both sexes remained stable increasing in 2012, with
this
 year, for
women
, reading book
numbers
 increased by 3 thousand
books
 and 1 thousand for
men
.
Women
 had exactly twice as many
books
 as the
figure
 for
men
. It is noteworthy that the reading number for
men
 and
women
 matched
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10,000 in 2013, which is the biggest number for
women
. After 2013, the
figure
 for
men
 overtook
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Women
.
Additionally
, the number of
men
further
 surged to
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
14
Change preposition
of 14
show examples
 thousand
books
 in 2014, but noticeably
saw
Verb problem
apply
show examples
there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 obvious decrease in
regarding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
figure
 for
women
, as well
the
Correct word choice
as the
show examples
 nu
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, men, women, figure, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
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