IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#land #three #regions #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The graphs
provide
Verb problem
show
show examples
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 of
land
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
, why it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 less productive, and especially in three regions during 1990.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe suffered from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 more than others, the main reason for it was deforestation,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the main cause of
land
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 was
over-gazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
. The pie chart shows that
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the main causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 suffering was deforestation,
whcih
Correct your spelling
which
 is approximately one-third. Over-gazing had the largest part of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart with 35%, after that deforestation which
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 30%. In the
Correct your spelling
graph
grah
Add a comma
grah,
show examples
 the smallest part is section other which had 7%. Before
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the graph had over-cultivation with 28%.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 graph illustrates the main cause of suffering in Oceania was over-gazing. North America mainly had problems with over-cultivation. In Europe the
overall
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of degraded
land
 was approximately one quarter,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they had
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 problems with
over-gazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
,
while
 other
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 had suffered from it mainly. All regions had eased
struggle
Correct article usage
the struggle
show examples
 with over-cultivation
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pie chart
  • Table
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Decreasing productivity
  • Reasons
  • Regional variations
  • Data
  • Summarize
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