In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour what do you think are the causes and what solutions you suggest.
Attitude
of the students these Add an article
The attitude
An attitude
days
is a major issue faced by schools in several countries. There are several causes of this
problem. Firstly
, kids
of the
working Correct article usage
apply
parents
have more behavioural issues as they spend less time
in
teaching their Change preposition
apply
kids
about good manners.
Secondly
, nowadays, there is a huge decline in the punishment system at the schools. I will explain both the causes and will provide solutions too.
The foremost reason of
the behavioural issues, most teaching institutes face these Change preposition
for
days
, is due to
the lack of time
parents
spend with their childrens
at their home. As most Correct your spelling
children
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
, these days
are employed, so
they stay busy at their workplace and their Correct word choice
apply
kids
remain deprived off
of their love and teachings. Change preposition
apply
This
is because,
students learn everything from their elders. They observe them and Remove the comma
apply
follows
whatever they do, so when they see there is no one to scold them and to tell them about right or wrong, Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
so
they become stubborn . Rephrase
apply
For instance
, one of my friends told me that her daughter had developed anger issues and she does not obey her, as she gets very less
Correct word choice
little
time
to spend with her due to
busy
office schedule.
Correct pronoun usage
her busy
Furthermore
, punishment systems are vanishing from the educational institutes these days
, so kids
feel free to do anything they like,
because they know that they will not be punished for their bad behaviours.To illustrate, my younger sister, took sick leave on the test day and she was pretty relaxed that no penalty Remove the comma
apply
will
be given to her, Wrong verb form
would
on
Change preposition
for
this
non serious
attitude.
The solution to these problems is that colleges should make strict policies, Add a hyphen
non-serious
rules
Correct word choice
and rules
abd
they should start giving punishment to the learners Correct your spelling
and
on
their non-serious behaviours. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, parents
should start spending some time
with their children, in which they should teach them good manners and how to be respectful to others.
To conclude
, aggressive
attitudes of Correct article usage
the aggressive
the
students these Correct article usage
apply
days
are majorly affecting education
system . So it is the responsibility of the Add an article
the education
parents
and the learning institutions that they should start teaching them good behaviour and if no positive outcome is seen, so strict rules should be made to punish them,
so that they start behaving appropriately Remove the comma
apply
due to
the fear.Submitted by dr.tehreemk on
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coherence cohesion
Try to expand on the introduction by briefly outlining the main causes and solutions that you will discuss in the essay. This helps set expectations for the reader.
task achievement
Clarify some ideas by using a wider variety of vocabulary and sentence structures. This can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the argument.
task achievement
Ensure all main points directly support the essay's position and address all parts of the task prompt without diversion.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit long and may lose clarity. Try breaking them into shorter ones to maintain clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay identifies two main causes - lack of parental involvement and the decline of punishment in schools.
task achievement
You provide specific examples and personal anecdotes to support your points, which makes the argument more relatable and engaging.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the solutions, giving a strong end to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each dealing with a different aspect of the question, which aids the logical flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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