For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

For centuries, art has been one of the important elements of many cultures around the world. But, today our society tends to give more value to science, technology, and business than arts as their preferences have changed. I believe the hunger for earning more money and status in society are the main reasons behind

this

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phenomenon. By promoting mental awareness and building self-esteem,

this

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problem can be mitigated. It is hard to deny that money plays an important role in survival in

this

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world, and

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

run after it by ignoring their mental happiness and their passion for doing something artistic

such

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as music, dance, painting and any other genre of art.It is always taught by parents that subjects like science, law physics can help them raise more funds for the future.

As a consequence

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, when

people

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do something without interest and passion it leads towards mental illness, anxiety, and depression. If we spread knowledge about mental well-being

then

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we can draw

people

Use synonyms

's attention to arts to some extent. Everybody wants a high status and respect in public.

Therefore

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, they work hard to get high-paying jobs and avoid taking part in the artwork so, they can earn respect and showcase their reputation. The public needs to spare some time to practice mindfulness in order to recognize their strengths and weaknesses.It helps to reduce social anxiety and pushes towards a sense of accomplishment beyond worrying about goodwill and

people

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's negative remarks. In conclusion, the race to make money and a good reputation among

people

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destroyed the appreciation of arts like in previous times.

However

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, if we focus on our mental health and personal growth despite other's comments, we can bring back the lost value of art.

its.maahi987Fri May 02 2025

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task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the task and presents your viewpoint clearly. However, consider expanding your arguments with more explanation and examples to fully develop your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of your paragraphs. Each point should be clearly separated and logically follow from one another for better coherence. Consider using linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

While you have made some relevant points, try to incorporate more specific examples or historical references regarding art's role in society to strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the underlying issues of the change in societal values regarding art.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspectives and suggests a way forward, which is appreciated in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
evolve
technological advancements
overshadowing
financial pressures
practical careers
digital entertainment
accessible
integrated
curricula
fostering
emotional intelligence
public art projects
engage
interactive

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