Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think
children
Use synonyms
have the
freedom
Use synonyms
to make
mistakes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other people believe that
adults
Use synonyms
should prevent
children
Use synonyms
from making
mistakes
Use synonyms
. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
While
Linking Words
some people believe
children
Use synonyms
have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
of doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
the wrong things, others think
matrues
Correct your spelling
mothers
have the responsibility for preventing
children
Use synonyms
to make
Change preposition
from making
show examples
mistakes
Use synonyms
. I will
elaberate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
discussion of both sides before reaching a
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
and my opinion. On the one hand, allowing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
flexibility
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
making
mistakes
Use synonyms
can improve
children
Use synonyms
's learning efficiency. Because of the most effective way
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
learning is
try
Replace the word
trial
show examples
and error, which is letting
children
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn from self-corrections. In that case, they do not need
adults
Use synonyms
to tell them what to do and what they should not do, so they can gain knowledge themselves without limitations.
However
Linking Words
,
matrues
Correct your spelling
matures
also
Linking Words
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the responsibility
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
avoiding
children
Use synonyms
to get
Change preposition
from getting
show examples
injuried
Correct your spelling
injured
.
In other words
Linking Words
, when
adults
Use synonyms
take care
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
, their main duty is always
protecting
Change the verb form
to protect
show examples
children
Use synonyms
from
hurt
Add a missing verb
being hurt
show examples
by dangerous things. Car
accidence
Correct your spelling
accident
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
, even if
chileden
Correct your spelling
children
had been told that they have to be careful
while
Linking Words
crossing the roads, they
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
exposed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the risk of hitting by a car.
As a result
Linking Words
,
adults
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
should
show examples
not only
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
educate pupils
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
have to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prevent them from either
hurt by
Wrong verb form
hurting
show examples
themselves or something else. In my opinion, I believe that grown-ups should let their
children
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
Use synonyms
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
of making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
mistakes
Use synonyms
, but I want to add that the
freedom
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be appropriate, which means that you cannot get too far and
also
Linking Words
to give them sufficient
protections
Fix the agreement mistake
protection
show examples
.
Submitted by jamexhuang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use more precise vocabulary to enhance clarity and avoid repeating words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammatical range and accuracy. Pay attention to sentence structure and subject-verb agreement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a coherent structure.
task achievement
Effort is made to discuss both perspectives of the issue, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
What to do next:
Look at other essays: