IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods, which has a negative effect on local food culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Local
food
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 has a significant reflection on a
country
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's
tradtions
Correct your spelling
traditions
 and
cultueres
Correct your spelling
cultures
.
While
Linking Words
 fast
food
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 can destroy the identity of a
country
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, it can still be replaced and forgotten. No one
deny
Correct subject-verb agreement
denies
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 the idea of trying a combination of diverse
food
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 from all around the world in one place.
Therefore
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, it is very interesting and possibly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 can attract more visitors to a
country
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 just to enjoy
this
Linking Words
 experience.
Also
Linking Words
, it can raise the chance of meeting different people and cultures at a certain spot by just trying international
food
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,
Linking Words
however;
Correct word choice
apply
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in
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
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 there are many principal disadvantages to consider.
As a result
Linking Words
, many tourists came to a
country
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 without even knowing any information about
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 cultures and local traditions, in
this
Linking Words
 way any region can lose their
food
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 identity easily.
For example
Linking Words
, Dubai is a diverse city
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 they have replaced
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 traditional
food
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 with
food
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overseas
Change preposition
from overseas
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
occurred
Wrong verb form
has resulted in
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 a
lose
Replace the word
loss
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
Check wording
visitors'
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 knowledge about Dubai's own
food
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.
To sum up
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, I
frimly
Correct your spelling
firmly
 believe that a
country
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 should preserve
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 identity without replacing it with
food
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 abroad. Even if replacing
tradtional
Correct your spelling
traditional
food
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 with
food
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out of the
Change preposition
from other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 looks
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the question in the first paragraph. Say if you fully agree, partly agree, or disagree.
task response
Add one more main idea to explain why fast food is bad for local food culture.
task response
Use examples that are clear and true to your point. Explain the example more.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main idea in its own paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence links clearly to the one before it. Some parts now feel sudden.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You give your opinion at the end, and your main idea is mostly clear.
task response
You try to use an example to support your idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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