IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods, which has a negative effect on local food culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Across the globe, traditional culinary practices are increasingly being supplanted by international fast-
food
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 franchises. I firmly agree with the notion that
this
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 trend has a profoundly detrimental impact, as it erodes cultural
identity
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 and diminishes the unique appeal of a nation to both its citizens and visitors. The primary justification for safeguarding traditional cuisine is its role in fostering social cohesion. For the local population, indigenous recipes are more than mere sustenance; they represent a living history that reinforces a sense of belonging.
For example
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, in many Middle Eastern cultures, the preparation of a traditional Meze is a communal event that strengthens family ties. If these practices are eclipsed by
standardized
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standardised
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 global brands like McDonald's or KFC, younger generations may lose a vital connection to their ancestral roots, leading to a diluted and
homogenized
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homogenised
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 cultural
identity
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.
Furthermore
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, the proliferation of global fast
food
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 leads to a "sterile" urban landscape, which has negative implications for the tourism industry. From a
traveler’s
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traveller’s
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 perspective, the allure of exploration lies in the discovery of authentic gastronomic experiences. If a destination’s streets are dominated by the same identical chains found in London or New York, the incentive for cultural tourism significantly diminishes. Without a specific and unique local "taste,"
such
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 as the street
food
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 markets in Thailand or the bistros of France, a country’s core
identity
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 risks appearing bleak and uninspiring. In conclusion, the encroachment of international fast
food
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 onto the territory of traditional dishes is a regrettable development. Because
food
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 is a cornerstone of national
identity
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 and a key driver of tourism, it is essential that governments take proactive steps to protect their culinary heritage. By supporting local vendors and educating the youth on traditional cooking, a nation can ensure its culture remains vibrant in the face of
globalization
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globalisation
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.

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task response
Add one short line about the other side, then say why you still agree. This can make your answer feel more full.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but one main point could use a more direct example from one real country or place.
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Some words are a bit complex. In the test, clear simple words can also work very well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are strong. You can make them even smoother by using a few shorter sentences too.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, which is good. Make sure every supporting line clearly connects back to that main idea.
task response
You answer the question clearly and your opinion is strong from the start.
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Your main ideas are developed well and stay on topic.
task response
You use examples like Middle Eastern food, Thailand, and France to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a clear purpose.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
coherence and cohesion
Words like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion' help guide the reader well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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