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NOVEMBER 16 EXAM DISCUSSION The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one twon in 1990, 2000, and 2010.

NOVEMBER 16 EXAM DISCUSSION The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one twon in 1990, 2000, and 2010.
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The table compares
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
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 in terms of
employment
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 in four countries namely: Retail shops, Health, Manufacturing, and Tourism in
three
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 particular
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 manufacturing and retail/shops were the highest categories by
men
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, Tourism and Health were mostly preferred by
women
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 in all
three
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years
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. As the table shows, starting with retail shops was the largest figure by
men
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 in all
three
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years
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 and it’s unchanged.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
women
Use synonyms
 category had the lowest
employment
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and 2000 with 7% and 8%, respectively, in 2010
Women
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 were employed at 9 per
cent
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. Regarding
Correct article usage
the
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health category, in 1990,
women
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 held the largest
proportion
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 at 9%, and in 2000 and 2010 at 11%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
men
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 held the smallest
proportion
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 in 1990 and in 2000 at 7% , and in 2010 at 9%. In terms of manufacturing,in 1990,
men
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 held the highest percentage at 30%, in 2000 at 15% and in 2010 at 10%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
women
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 category had the lowest
proportion
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 of
Employment
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 in all
three
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years
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.In 1990 it was at about 7%. In 2000, it held 8 per
cent
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.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010,
this
Linking Words
 score was 3 per
cent
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.As for Tourism,
women
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's trend held the highest indicator In 1990 at 23% in 2000 at 25%, and in 2010 at 27 per
cent
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in 1990, the indicator was 13%, in 2000 and 2010 the
proportion
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 of
Employment
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 was unchanged from 10 per
cent
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 by
men
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast, while".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, employment, three, years, cent, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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