IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to measure someone's success is to look at how much money that person has. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#measure #someone #success #money #person
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
 say that in order to understand if
someone
 is successful you
nead
Correct your spelling
need
 to look at how much
money
 that person has. In spite of their experience, knowledge and mental
helth
Correct your spelling
health
. Sadly many
people
 take
this
 advice
anj
Correct your spelling
and
 judge
people
 only based on their
welth
Correct your spelling
wealth
.
Personaly
Correct your spelling
Personally
, I
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 agree with
this
 statement, because,
money
 dont show how
successiful
Correct your spelling
successful
 a person is because nowadays everione coud own a
lage
Correct your spelling
large
 amount of
welth
Correct your spelling
wealth
 just because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are lucky or
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 how to steal it from
someone
elce
Correct your spelling
else
.
Firstly
, there are many
people
 that try to steal
everithing
Correct your spelling
everything
 you have in their own interest.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 there was a case when one
brocker
Correct your spelling
broker
 from Wall
Streat
Correct your spelling
Street
show examples
stol milions
Correct your spelling
stole millions
 of
dolars
Correct your spelling
dollars
 from investors all over the world. That
peson
Correct your spelling
person
 is not successful, he is a
thef
Correct your spelling
thief
chef
 that now
lays
Replace the word
lies
show examples
 in prison for his crimes.
Secondly
, there are a
loat
Correct your spelling
lot
 of
peole
Correct your spelling
people
thet
Correct your spelling
that
mary
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
Add a missing verb
be welthy
show examples
welthy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
people
 to inherit their belongings. For
istance
Correct your spelling
instance
, there are a
loat
Correct your spelling
lot
 of cases when
someone
mary
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 an atleat
hat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 is successful in
hope
Correct article usage
the hope
show examples
 that
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 will be able to live a good
lofe
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
 without doing any work.
Therefore
, it is crucial to always be careful
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
someones
Change noun form
someone's
show examples
aperence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 on social media because many of
whose
Correct your spelling
those
show examples
people
 are
successiful
Correct your spelling
successful
 just because of
someone
elces
Correct your spelling
else
else's
 work. In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concussion
, we should not measure
someone
’s success by
loking
Correct your spelling
looking
 at how much
money
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 have because as shown above if
someone
 has
money
 it does not mean that
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 are the reason they have it.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve organization by clearly separating ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single point or reason, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of ideas by avoiding grammar and spelling errors. Simple mistakes can sometimes obscure the meaning of your sentences.
Task Achievement
Revise your essay to include more specific examples or references that support your points, which can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses a commonly held belief and presents a personal stance on the issue, engaging with the topic in a meaningful way.
Task Achievement
The writer provides real-world examples, such as the Wall Street broker and marriage for wealth, which makes the argument relatable and concrete.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and a conclusion, framing the argument, which is a key aspect of good essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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