The internet has dramatically atlered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinion on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience

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Recently, everyone
use
Wrong verb form
has used
show examples
their smartphones or gadgets to
access
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
in daily
life
,
such
as for education,
working
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work
show examples
, learning, watching, searching, and
another needs
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another need
other needs
show examples
of
people
.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
necessity for
people
's
life
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lives
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.
Technology
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
people
positive or negative impact.
Technology
make
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makes
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work easier. We can
access
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to search
everything
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for everything
show examples
that can be
reference
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a reference
the reference
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for our daily
necessity
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necessities
show examples
. Even
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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can give us
detail
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detailed
show examples
references about
Correct article usage
the informations
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informations
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information
pieces of information
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we need. It provides us
to
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with to
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access
information, allowing individuals to expand their knowledge,
access
educational
resources
, and stay informed about global events.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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hand,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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create
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has created
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e-commerce
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an e-commerce
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revolution too by online shopping. Online shopping has transformed the retail market, offering
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumers more choices for
things
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want to buy
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
than offline shopping from the shop. We can download the online shopping application from our gadgets,
then
create our account in the application, save our contact details, address,
phone
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and phone
show examples
number, and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
online
payment
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payments
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too in the application.
By
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According to
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the data,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping
deliver
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delivers
show examples
our
things
to our
address
Fix the agreement mistake
addresses
show examples
. It is a great transformation
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
that we can enjoy and
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
us
,
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apply
show examples
because it makes our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
impact too for
employees
and students. Students can
access
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and search many
things
for
resources
about their
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
, paper references, and improving their knowledge.
Employees
can search many
resources
for their company reports too. They can expand their
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
by reading the
resources
while
making
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
.
Technology
offers many tools to help many works too for
employees
that can make their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
easier.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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that,
employees
can create online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
too by
technology
. They don't have to meet each other directly to discuss something. They can create forum
discuss
Replace the word
discussions
show examples
to be more flexible
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
online
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. Online
meeting
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meetings
show examples
can be done anywhere and anytime. It makes the
discuss to be
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
more effective and efficient.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
can make our social
relation
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relations
show examples
become
Verb problem
apply
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closer too. We can communicate with
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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people
who
far
Add a missing verb
are far
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away from us
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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,
such
as phone calls, video calls, social media, chatting, etc.
ocial
Correct your spelling
social
media platforms allow
people
to maintain relationships, share experiences, and stay connected with family and friends regardless of distance. Despite its benefits, the
internet
has led to issues
such
as cyberbullying, privacy concerns, and misinformation spread, which affect societal well-being and individual mental health. Instant and easy
things
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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offered
Add a missing verb
are offered
show examples
by
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
us to be
more lazy
Replace the words
lazier
show examples
too for effort something in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. We make less effort for important and urgent something
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the benefits of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
create our
mental
Replace the word
minds
show examples
to be instant. In conclusion, we should be grateful for
technology
, because there are so many benefits that we can enjoy from it. Everything in our
life
to be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
easier. So we must optimize and develop the use of
technology
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, we should be wise to minimize the negative impacts of
technology
too.
Submitted by imeldarosari6 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on presenting your ideas more clearly and concisely. Avoid redundant phrases and try to express your points directly to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples from personal knowledge or experience to support your points. Examples can help make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic of internet impact, and the conclusion adequately summarizes key points and offers a balanced view.
task achievement
You successfully identified multiple positive impacts of the internet, such as educational access, e-commerce, and social connectivity.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Information superhighway
  • Digital economy
  • Virtual communication
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online platforms
  • E-learning
  • Cloud computing
  • Remote access
  • Social networking sites
  • Digital footprint
  • Misinformation
  • Data privacy
  • E-commerce
  • Telecommuting
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