Some people think that travelling to work and working in the company’s office building makes employees more productive. However, others agree that it is better for employees to work at home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Work
is so important to earn money for our daily needs. However
, So many masses say go
Wrong verb form
going
for
Change preposition
to
work
on daily
basis and Add an article
a daily
do
Wrong verb form
working
work
at workplace
is beneficial for them to grow, even others say working at Add an article
the workplace
home
is much easier for them. However
, in this
essay, I am going to discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, working at company's
Correct article usage
the company's
office
is better to get
connect with different Verb problem
apply
people
at workplace
because by Add an article
the workplace
this
they can improve their communication skills and also
it will help them to increase their confidence level. For instance
, according to
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
servey
, more than 65% of Correct your spelling
survey
surveys
people
are good in
public speaking because of their language skills and Change preposition
at
confidence
they get at Correct article usage
the confidence
workplace
. Add an article
the workplace
Secondly
, face-to-face interaction
are so integral for employees to learn Fix the agreement mistake
interactions
etiquettes
. At Fix the agreement mistake
etiquette
office
, they can learn teamwork and how to achieve goals together as a team, which Add an article
the office
also
increase
leadership skills in employees.
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
On the other hand
, the one advantage of working at home
is for mothers, who have kids and they want to work
but they
cannot go to Correct pronoun usage
apply
office
on Add an article
the office
daily
basis, so it is easy for them to do their jobs from Correct article usage
a daily
home
and they can look after their children as well. For example
, a recent newspaper headline revealed that their
is Replace the word
there
25
% increment in Correct article usage
a 25
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
people
who are working from home
in
which only 4% are males and Change preposition
of
rest
are Correct article usage
the rest
famales
. Correct your spelling
families
Moreover
, it is time and money saving
as well, as no need to go to Add a hyphen
money-saving
office
and spend money on fares. Add an article
the office
an office
However
, it can be also
a reason for lack
of confidence and patience to Correct article usage
a lack
work
in a team.
In my opinion, It is better to do job
Correct article usage
a job
at
Change preposition
in
workplace
because Add an article
the workplace
human
mind can concentrate on one thing at a time, so they can easily Add an article
the human
distract
if they are working at Wrong verb form
be distracted
home
. Although
, some Correct word choice
However
people
do not have any option to go to office
, so for them Add an article
the office
an office
work
from Wrong verb form
working
home
is best
option.
In conclusion, Change the article
the best
work
at office
and Add an article
the office
an office
work
at home
, both views have their own benefits and dreawbacks
. It Correct your spelling
drawbacks
is
totally Unnecessary verb
apply
depend
upon a person Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
that
how they want to do their jobs.Correct word choice
apply
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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and words to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and explanations to make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of the same words or phrases, and use varied vocabulary to enhance your writing style.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your plan to address the topic thoroughly.
task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic and provides your personal opinion, which is a key aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
The points about improving communication skills and balancing work with family responsibilities strengthen your argument and show an understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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