Some people think that travelling to work and working in the company’s office building makes employees more productive. However, others agree that it is better for employees to work at home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Work

Use synonyms

is so important to earn money for our daily needs.

However

Linking Words

, So many masses say

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

work

Use synonyms

daily

Add an article

a daily

show examples

basis and

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

work

Use synonyms

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

is beneficial for them to grow, even others say working at

home

Use synonyms

is much easier for them.

However

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, working at

company's

Correct article usage

the company's

show examples

office

Use synonyms

is better to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

connect with different

people

Use synonyms

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

because by

this

Linking Words

they can improve their communication skills and

also

Linking Words

it will help them to increase their confidence level.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

recent

Correct article usage

a recent

show examples

servey

Correct your spelling

survey

surveys

, more than 65% of

people

Use synonyms

are good

Change preposition

show examples

public speaking because of their language skills and

confidence

Correct article usage

the confidence

show examples

they get at

Use synonyms

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, face-to-face

interaction

Fix the agreement mistake

interactions

show examples

are so integral for employees to learn

etiquettes

Fix the agreement mistake

etiquette

show examples

. At

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

, they can learn teamwork and how to achieve goals together as a team, which

also

Linking Words

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

leadership skills in employees.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the one advantage of working at

home

Use synonyms

is for mothers, who have kids and they want to

work

Use synonyms

but

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

cannot go to

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

basis, so it is easy for them to do their jobs from

home

Use synonyms

and they can look after their children as well.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent newspaper headline revealed that

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Correct article usage

a 25

show examples

% increment in

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who are working from

home

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

which only 4% are males and

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

are

famales

Correct your spelling

families

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is time and

money saving

Add a hyphen

money-saving

show examples

as well, as no need to go to

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

an office

show examples

and spend money on fares.

However

Linking Words

, it can be

also

Linking Words

a reason for

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of confidence and patience to

work

Use synonyms

in a team. In my opinion, It is better to do

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

because

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

mind can concentrate on one thing at a time, so they can easily

distract

Wrong verb form

be distracted

show examples

if they are working at

home

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, some

people

Use synonyms

do not have any option to go to

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

an office

show examples

, so for them

Use synonyms

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

from

home

Use synonyms

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

option. In conclusion,

work

Use synonyms

office

Add an article

the office

an office

show examples

and

work

Use synonyms

home

Use synonyms

, both views have their own benefits and

dreawbacks

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

. It

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

totally

depend

Correct subject-verb agreement

depends

show examples

upon a person

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how they want to do their jobs.

navjot88005Tue Nov 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and words to smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Support your points with more specific examples and explanations to make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of the same words or phrases, and use varied vocabulary to enhance your writing style.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your plan to address the topic thoroughly.

task achievement

Your essay covers both perspectives on the topic and provides your personal opinion, which is a key aspect of task achievement.

task achievement

The points about improving communication skills and balancing work with family responsibilities strengthen your argument and show an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

363 words

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Some people think that travelling to work and working in the company’s office building makes employees more productive. However, others agree that it is better for employees to work at home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Art should be a compulsory class for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Large companies often use sports events to promote their products.Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?