IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #world #billions #support #space #programs #money #research #improvements #health
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Technology
 is flourishing from leap and bound. Some people believe that rather than spending on
spaces program
Fix the agreement mistake
space programs
show examples
, money must be utilised on
research
instead
. So, ultimately it can get better results in
health
 for the survival of mankind.
Moreover
, I personally intend to have
straight
Add an article
a straight
the straight
show examples
 side for
this
 human
health
research
. As we know, human beings are the backbone of every situation around the world whether it's
technology
 or healthcare. It is
also
 believed that many people focus on
health
 after the pandemic covid-19
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
.They do believe
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 expanding
research
 on healthcare for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better or safer future •
For example
, after getting hit by
this
 pandemic many humans were affected and killed
due to
 fewer facilities available.
Such
 as talking from
health
 machinery to medicine. They were very hard days for them. Indeed, they believe it is important to work on
such
 healthcare
research
. On the other side, some believe that the space program
also
 plays a vital role as well. They think increasing in
technology
 can lead to advancement and new life
elsewhere
.
For instance
, They are inclined towards space
research
, to be considered because of the warnings alarm going around
theglobe
Correct your spelling
the globe
. It is observed that the earth is declining from its original pure form to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 destructive form, as if
due to
 pollution, rising heat and loss of plants or organisms. So, they think to take advantage of
such
technology
 to shift their lives to the other planet where life exists. Putting
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 a nutshell, I would like to opine that it is better to focus on current situations which are already in danger
such
 as the
health
 of humans rather than future events.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and consistent structure, starting with an introduction, followed by middle paragraphs for arguments, and a conclusion that wraps up your points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. They should be relevant and enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and supports it with details. Avoid jumping between unrelated ideas.
task achievement
To improve clarity, use clear and precise language, and eliminate ambiguities or vague expressions.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the issue, which is a positive approach.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a clear opinion, which aids in understanding the writer’s stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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