Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Technology
is flourishing from leap and bound. Some people believe that rather than spending on
spaces program
Fix the agreement mistake
space programs
show examples
, money must be utilised on
research
instead
. So, ultimately it can get better results in
health
for the survival of mankind.
Moreover
, I personally intend to have
straight
Add an article
a straight
the straight
show examples
side for
this
human
health
research
. As we know, human beings are the backbone of every situation around the world whether it's
technology
or healthcare. It is
also
believed that many people focus on
health
after the pandemic covid-19
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
show examples
.They do believe
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
expanding
research
on healthcare for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better or safer future •
For example
, after getting hit by
this
pandemic many humans were affected and killed
due to
fewer facilities available.
Such
as talking from
health
machinery to medicine. They were very hard days for them. Indeed, they believe it is important to work on
such
healthcare
research
. On the other side, some believe that the space program
also
plays a vital role as well. They think increasing in
technology
can lead to advancement and new life
elsewhere
.
For instance
, They are inclined towards space
research
, to be considered because of the warnings alarm going around
theglobe
Correct your spelling
the globe
. It is observed that the earth is declining from its original pure form to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
destructive form, as if
due to
pollution, rising heat and loss of plants or organisms. So, they think to take advantage of
such
technology
to shift their lives to the other planet where life exists. Putting
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
a nutshell, I would like to opine that it is better to focus on current situations which are already in danger
such
as the
health
of humans rather than future events.
Submitted by drashtichotaliya12 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and consistent structure, starting with an introduction, followed by middle paragraphs for arguments, and a conclusion that wraps up your points.
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Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. They should be relevant and enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and supports it with details. Avoid jumping between unrelated ideas.
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To improve clarity, use clear and precise language, and eliminate ambiguities or vague expressions.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both sides of the issue, which is a positive approach.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a clear opinion, which aids in understanding the writer’s stance.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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