IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, people had different opinions about whether artificial intelligence has positive impacts on human future or is harmful to society. In my opinion, there may be some problems, but a lot of benefits will happened.

#years #people #intelligence #impacts #future #society
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On the one hand, the use of intelligent
robots
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 some negative effects on the working field
on
Change preposition
of
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 society because
robots
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 can
instead
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 of
human
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humans
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 in the part of the workplace.
For example
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, factory positions with
job
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 content regular can be replaced by operating machines, which leads to the number of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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worker facing the problem of losing their
job
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.
Furthermore
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, artificial
intelligence
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 can influence human personal privacy security Since
robots
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 rely on massive data to train and improve modules.
For instance
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, some analysis technology of facing and
intelligence
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 facilities can collect information in the situation of users disagree, which can cause many legal problems.
On the other hand
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, artificial
intelligence
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 makes human life more convenient in several aspects. One of the points is that enhances medical technology, which promotes the rate of effectiveness and accuracy of doctors. Many diseases in cure rate see a significant increase,
such
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 as high blood pressure, heart disease and so on.
Additionally
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, manufacturing industry productivity is improved with the use of industry
robots
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. They can
working
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work
be working
show examples
 faster and adapt to various
job
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 market requirements more easily.
Therefore
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, the born of
intelligence
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robots
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 can enhance, economic development in the country. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
robots
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 can raise the quality of human life and living styles. But
also
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 destroys the
job
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 market balance and leads to personal private problems.
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps the reader understand the direction your essay will take.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a more detailed summary of the main points and a restatement of your opinion. This can enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While your arguments are relevant, try to expand on them to show depth of understanding (e.g., provide more specific examples or statistics).
task achievement
You show awareness of the mixed impact of artificial intelligence by discussing both its negative and positive effects.
task achievement
You effectively use examples to illustrate your points, such as the impact on factory workers and advances in medical technology.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with a clear distinction between the negative and positive impacts of artificial intelligence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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