Some people think that young people should spend more and more of their free time with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The debate over whether the youth should devote a huge amount of leisure time to family events or if they ought to pass the time by doing outdoor activities remains contentious. Some argue that spending time with the family allows youngsters to strengthen their bonds and gain life experience

while

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the opponents of

this

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view claim that outdoor amusements play a crucial role in developing soft skills like teamwork and stress management.

This

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essay will elucidate both viewpoints and offer a personal perspective.

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Wed Nov 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure to provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will enhance the strength of your argument and demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points further in the body paragraphs with substantial support and explanations. This will improve the comprehensiveness of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion

In order to achieve stronger coherence and cohesion, aim to connect your main points more explicitly by using linking words and phrases.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the debate and sets the stage for discussing both viewpoints, which is a strong aspect of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure is logically organized with an introduction indicating what will be presented in the essay, leading nicely into the essay’s body.

Task Achievement

Using terms like 'strengthen their bonds,' 'gain life experience,' 'soft skills,' and 'stress management' shows a good command of vocabulary relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

83 words

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Some people think that young people should spend more and more of their free time with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Write a letter to your neighbour about the damage that occurred to your car while he was parking his car in the lane outside your home. In the letter, you should: describe the damage say how you feel about this problem suggest to him what actions he should take.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Government investment in the art, such as music and theaters is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?