In the modern world it is possible to communicate with people via the internet without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?
These days, technology has been developing immediately, so in
modern
Add an article
the modern
era
Add a comma
era,
people
can iteract
with other populations by Correct your spelling
interact
connect
to the Internet Change the verb form
connecting
instead
of visiting them in real position
. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
positions
this
happening is a positive development owing to the fact that people
can improve their knowledge about other countries
and the
Correct article usage
apply
home sick
Correct your spelling
homesick
do
not Correct subject-verb agreement
does
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
them.
On the one hand, Change preposition
apply
nowedays
, a lot of Correct your spelling
nowadays
people
do not have a great deal of not only time but also
money for
travel to other Change preposition
to
countries
and know about their culture, costums
and so on; Correct your spelling
customs
costumes
however
, they have access to the
social media, the massive systems that Correct article usage
apply
people
from all over the word
can use, with the Internet and they can find the friends in other Correct your spelling
world
countries
and speak with them to improve ther
information about the other Correct your spelling
their
the
countries
and people
's lifestyles.
On the other hand
, if communities immigrate to other countries
or other cities for several reasons like education, job opportunitis
, and so forth, they need Correct your spelling
opportunities
sometime
to see their both family members and friends Replace the word
some time
to
lose Change the verb form
apply
their
bad feeling Change the word
the
that
is
a result of living far from the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
who like, but they are not able to travell
every day. Correct your spelling
travel
In other words
, they live in the
region Correct article usage
a
where
is really far from their home town and need to spend a lot of time Correct word choice
that
for
going there; Change preposition
apply
as a result
, they can use various applications, creating a chance for them to communicate with the people
who want, such
as Google Meet, Telegram and so on.
To sum up
, in my view, the communicate
that Replace the word
communication
based
on Add a missing verb
is based
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
have
some benefits for Correct subject-verb agreement
has
communties
who do not have a situation Correct your spelling
communities
for
journey to other Change preposition
to
countries
to enhance their data about other people
and lose a bad feeling that a
consequence of living far from their family and Add a missing verb
is a
frends
.Correct your spelling
friends
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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Grammar
Work on grammar and punctuation to improve sentence clarity and reduce confusion.
Structure
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly and logically, possibly with more paragraphing.
Examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, to strengthen your argument.
Introduction
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion and sets the context for the essay, which is effective.
Relevance
You address the prompt well by discussing both the benefits of internet communication in terms of knowledge sharing and emotional support.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.