Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

children

Use synonyms

use their

time

Use synonyms

for their

smartphones

Use synonyms

every day. The reason why they spend a lot of

time

Use synonyms

is that

smartphones

Use synonyms

have many

apps

Use synonyms

which

children

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

addicted to,

for example

Linking Words

, YouTube

apps

Use synonyms

, Instagram

apps

Use synonyms

and so on. With regard to YouTube

apps

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

love to watch the

youtuber

Correct your spelling

YouTuber

who is famous among the

children

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the

apps

Use synonyms

recommend new videos after finishing the previous movie, so

children

Use synonyms

cannot stop watching videos.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Instagram

apps

Use synonyms

show

children

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

show examples

series of new

information

Use synonyms

, which is about interesting

younger's

Change noun form

younger

show examples

cultures, so

children

Use synonyms

cannot stop scrolling

Change preposition

through

show examples

the

information

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

they

use

Verb problem

spend

show examples

much

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

smartphones

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, spending hours on their phone has positive and negative aspects.

Fast

Correct article usage

A fast

show examples

, positive feature is that

children

Use synonyms

can make good relationships with friends

due to

Linking Words

getting new

information

Use synonyms

from

smartphones

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in their school,

children

Use synonyms

enjoy talking about famous

youtubers

Correct your spelling

YouTubers

and new

information

Use synonyms

, so

children

Use synonyms

need

these contents

Fix the agreement mistake

this content

show examples

to communicate with their friends. If

children

Use synonyms

could not get the contents, they would not get

Change preposition

into

show examples

friend's conversations.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there are negative features about using

smartphones

Use synonyms

too.

Most

Add an article

A most

The most

show examples

serious problem is

children

Use synonyms

lose their

time

Use synonyms

for studying or talking with their family.

For example

Linking Words

, in Japan, some families prohibit using the smartphone, because

children

Use synonyms

don't do their homework or the arrangements of housework.

Additionally

Linking Words

, some

children

Use synonyms

lose their

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

tests in their school.

Thus

Linking Words

, using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

has

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

youngers

Correct your spelling

younger

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

smartphones

Use synonyms

have interesting

apps

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

use much

Verb problem

spend

show examples

time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

show examples

them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, using

smartphones

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

positive and negative prospects.

kanchanakularathna1991Wed Nov 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Work on making your ideas more structured and logically connected. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear topic and the transition between points is smoother.

Try to expand and develop your ideas further. This means not only presenting them but also explaining them in more detail to improve clarity.

Use more specific examples to support your points. While you have included examples, providing more details would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the question, addressing both why children spend time on smartphones and the positive and negative aspects of this habit.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and a concluding statement, helping to frame your response well.

task achievement

The essay discusses real-world applications and implications, making it relevant and relatable.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

266 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
When people learn a foreign language, all four skills (listening, speaking, reading and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Learning a new language is a multifaceted endeavour, encompassing of variety of skills such as listening, speaking, reading and writing. Whilst it is argued that all of those four skills are equally significant, some would argue that only one of a few of them is necessary. It is my contention that developing a new language skill necessitates people to master all aspects simultaneously without prioritizing them.
8.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest?
The increasing migration of professionals, such as teachers and doctors, from developing to developed countries is a significant trend in today’s globalized workforce. This phenomenon stems from both individual aspirations and organizational demands. However, governments and employers in developing nations can implement measures to mitigate this talent drain.
7.5
band
Some people think that it is too difficult for poor people or people from rural areas to go to university. So that the universities should make it especially easy for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The rise in the digital era has brought enormous changes in the way people interact with each other. However, the advances in technological transformation are showing various concerns regarding the positive and negative impacts in terms of communication.
6
band
Despite better access to education, some adults are not able to read or write. What are the main disadvantages of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
The destiny of the majority of people is hinged on the level of knowledge. Education plays a pivotal role in success while low or no literacy levels create troubles among some adults. Being unable to deal with technology is a common drawback that the majority of people have to confront in society. With the development of technology, we should be concerned about introducing simple concepts to make them ease regarding this issue.
7
band
In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?
It is predicted that, by 2050, the percentage of the population aged 65 or older will have risen significantly in some places. This is likely to cause problems for the countries concerned, and finding a solution will not be easy.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

When people learn a foreign language, all four skills (listening, speaking, reading and writing) are equally important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that it is too difficult for poor people or people from rural areas to go to university. So that the universities should make it especially easy for them. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Despite better access to education, some adults are not able to read or write. What are the main disadvantages of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?