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Band 1.5

In the past peope used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#peope #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world
These days some people
was
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were
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traveled
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travelled
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in
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to
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anothers counrty
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another country
 to
discovery
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discover
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their
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there
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are
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apply
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culture.
In
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On
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 the other hand, they
are
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apply
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stoped
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stopped
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 to
traveled
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travelled
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 because become
equal
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equality
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 between the
counries
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countries
. So, now I will talk about
this
 comparison.
However
, Some people firmly believe that they
are
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apply
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should to make
relationship
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relationships
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 with
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the state
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state
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states
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 and countries to make
a new skills
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new skills
a new skill
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 from each
others
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other
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For example
, if was some one in
different
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a different
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 place after that he
is convince
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is convinced
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 to
visting anothers
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visit another
 place
for
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to
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acquistion
Correct your spelling
acquisition
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development.
Firstly
, they can benefit from each
others
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other
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such
 as the sciences and some
study
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studies
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.
Secondly
, They
are
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apply
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can learn from each
others
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other
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 some culture and customs and traditions.
Furthermore
,
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, it's important to focus on organizing your ideas logically. Try using linking words such as 'in addition,' 'on the other hand,' and 'therefore' to connect your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Be sure to introduce your points clearly at the beginning. A better-structured introduction and conclusion would help guide the reader through your essay. Aim for a clear thesis statement in your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Illustrate broader ideas with specific scenarios or data to enhance understanding.
task achievement
Your essay begins with acknowledging both sides of the issue, which is an excellent start to discussing different perspectives.
task achievement
You address the concept of cultural exchange and learning from different customs and traditions, which shows a good attempt to delve into the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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