IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. write a letter to your boss. explain why you want to reduce your working hours. say which hours you would like to work, describe how your part-time studies world kenefit your employer.

#hours #study #part #time #boss #work #studies #world #kenefit #employer
Dear Mr. White, I am writing to regard to my working change part-time from full- time. My name is
Amonda
Correct your spelling
Amanda
 Zhou, I have been working as a teacher for 5 years. As a matter of fact, I have been an
outstarding
Correct your spelling
outstanding
 English teacher
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 your school for 3 years. I want to reduce my job time to 25 hours from 35 hours a week
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I will study French. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that the French will
becoming
Change the verb form
become
be becoming
show examples
 a highlight as an international school.
In addition
, most parents hope their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 study the
secondl
Correct your spelling
second
 language from their feedback.
Therefore
, I argue that the French
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
, more students the opportunity to increase
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 name.
As a result
, I need your support, because it is
significantely
Correct your spelling
significant
 for me. I know my
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 busy every day. I will greatly appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you can agree to work 4 hours from Monday to Friday
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 8:00am-1:00 pm. I will study every afternoon. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours
Sinecely
Correct your spelling
Sincerely
, Amand Zhou
Submitted by cyh000823 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring that each paragraph presents and develops a clear, single idea. This will enhance the coherence of your letter.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter for small errors or typos, as these can impact clarity, even if they don't severely lower your score.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and closing, which frames your request nicely.
task achievement
You provided specific reasons and a clear schedule, showing consideration for your employer's planning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!