IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. Do you agree?

#people #museums #galleries #show #work #artists #countries
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Nowadays, a lot of
people
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people's
show examples
 opinions are foreign artists wouldn’t manifest their
master piece
Correct your spelling
masterpiece
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
, and galleries. They say “
only
Capitalize word
Only
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 come from specific realm
artist
Use synonyms
 can show their
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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.” I completely disagree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 it.
However
Linking Words
, ı think art is global,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 it shows new cultures to us. İnitialy many math
formula
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formulas
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
arose
 from İndia, rather than, Paper and some
of
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apply
show examples
war
Add an article
the war
show examples
 tools
Linking Words
Add a missing verb
were firstly
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firstly
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first
show examples
 made in
Chine
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China
show examples
. The list is too long. All of these make us
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more clever and optimistic because of the cultural trade.
In
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As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, if we share
to
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apply
show examples
our cultures
each
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with each
show examples
 other, we can increase humanity process. Actually education and
economy
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the economy
show examples
Add a missing verb
are influence
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influence
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influenced
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 because of these. İn the
history
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, artists worked
each
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with each
show examples
 other, and
also
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 results always
suprised
Correct your spelling
surprised
 everybody.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, range has
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major role
about
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in
show examples
museums
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 experts try to collect different types master piece from
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 create
to
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apply
show examples
new brands of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
. The Times press announced to range of
arts
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 are teaching a lot of things to
visiters
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visitors
show examples
. İn addition, they say classical
type
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types
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 of galleries and
museums
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are
Verb problem
do
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 not have many
award
Change to a plural noun
awards
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 from
government
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the government
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 and Unicef. “The
History
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 of Science Museum” took a ‘Best Museum of Word’
reward
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award
show examples
last
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 week. On the other side
,”
Correct article usage
, the” History
show examples
History
Use synonyms
 of Books Museum” couldn’t take any reword yet because of
type
Correct article usage
the type
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
. Actually, the
History
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 of Book Museum
hasn’t
Verb problem
doesn’t
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 have much range of
arts
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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. In conclusion, ı mentioned
about
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apply
show examples
local
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 and foreign
Use synonyms
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
, their effect
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 art
museums
Use synonyms
 and galleries.
Submitted by türkoğluahmetonur on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more clearly by using paragraphs to separate different points. For instance, each paragraph could address a different reason or example supporting your viewpoint.
task achievement
Try to develop each idea fully with specific examples and explanations. This will help in making your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Pay attention to the grammar and vocabulary to ensure accuracy and clarity. Small errors can sometimes make it difficult to follow your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and attempts to support it with examples of cultural exchange and global influence.
coherence cohesion
You provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed, which is effective in wrapping up your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Heritage
  • Regional Culture
  • Economic Benefits
  • Local Talent
  • Authentic Local Art
  • Diverse Perspectives
  • Mutual Understanding
  • Balanced Approach
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Styles
  • Innovations
  • Global Reputation
  • Exhibitions
  • Preservation
  • Promotion
  • Unique Aspects
  • Educational Experience
  • Mutual Understanding
  • Tolerance
  • Stimulating the Economy
What to do next:
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