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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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In modern days young people are able to study in another country, but in the
past
Add a comma
past,
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this
 was not as common as now. After high school teenagers
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to continue their studies in their own country. Personally, I believe that studying far away from home would offer advantages over others
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 prefer to remain
home
Change preposition
at home
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.
First,
they would gain international experience, as they might learn a foreign language,
for example
.
Furthermore
, living in another city might enrich them
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects. To give an example, they have to learn how to manage their money.
In addition
, they could meet people from all over the world. I think that getting in touch with different cultures helps to create a
critic
Replace the word
critical
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 vision, which is fundamental to building a well-rounded mind.
On the other hand
, studying abroad presents some disadvantages that cannot be ignored. Living in another city is not as easy as one might think. Someone could feel alone and there will certainly be circumstances in which he will find some difficulties, with no one that can help. Another aspect that cannot be avoided is the economic effort. During the studying
period
Add a comma
period,
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 parents will surely help their children with money, but it can be very expensive if they are in another country. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages, so if someone has the opportunity to live
this
 experience he definitely ought to take the chance.
However
, there are
also
 disadvantages that should not be ignored.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points, especially in discussing the disadvantages.
task achievement
Try to expand a bit more on the main points, particularly the challenges faced while living abroad, with real-life scenarios or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next; consider adding linking phrases to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main discussion points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad, maintaining a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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