The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).

The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).
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The above two pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
the different devices used to watch
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
for the age group 18 to 25 in Canada in 2009
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most significant feature is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
conventional TV
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
the highest score in 2009,
While
Linking Words
in 2019 the number
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the lowest percentage.
However
Linking Words
, in 2019 mobile received the strongest amount and tablet was the weakest proportion in 2008. It is noticeable that the number of conventional TV usages
was significantly drops
Change the verb form
was significantly dropped
was significantly dropping
show examples
from 34% to 4% in 2019.
In contrast
Linking Words
, mobile phone scores show dramatic growth from 15% in 2009 to 26% in 2019.
Moreover
Linking Words
, flat
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
and
tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
exhibited a similar increased pattern from 8% and 5% in 2009 to 27% and 19% in 2019. In fact, the desktop computer percentage
dippened
Correct your spelling
dipped
to 12% in 2019.
While
Linking Words
the number of laptops show
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
drop from 20% in 2009 to 12% in 2019.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional television sets
  • mobile devices
  • technological advancements
  • streaming services
  • laptop and desktop computers
  • flexibility
  • multifunctionality
  • smart TVs
  • household routines
  • younger demographics
  • streaming sticks
  • gaming consoles
  • digital entertainment purposes
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