The graph given illustrate the used devices in the 18 to 25 age group in canada used to watch television in two different years(2009 and 2018).
The above two pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
demonstrates
the different devices used to watch Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
televisions
for the age group 18 to 25 in Canada in 2009 Fix the agreement mistake
television
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
it
to 2019.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Overall
, the most significant feature is the
conventional TV Correct determiner usage
that
was
the highest score in 2009, Verb problem
had
While
in 2019 the number drop
to Wrong verb form
dropped
be
the lowest percentage. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, in 2019 mobile received the strongest amount and tablet was the weakest proportion in 2008.
It is noticeable that the number of conventional TV usages was significantly drops
from 34% to 4% in 2019. Change the verb form
was significantly dropped
was significantly dropping
In contrast
, mobile phone scores show dramatic growth from 15% in 2009 to 26% in 2019. Moreover
, flat screen
and Fix the agreement mistake
screens
tablet
exhibited a similar increased pattern from 8% and 5% in 2009 to 27% and 19% in 2019. In fact, the desktop computer percentage Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
dippened
to 12% in 2019. Correct your spelling
dipped
While
the number of laptops show steady
drop from 20% in 2009 to 12% in 2019.Add an article
a steady
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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