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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #exercise #health #diet
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In order to maintain health conditions at a certain level there are two ways. Exercising and healthy diet.
While
 exercising could assist in better blood circulation, a healthy nutriment could be helpful for preventing different kinds of diseases. Exercise could be key to a healthy life. Because it exposes fat and improves
bloodstream
Correct article usage
the bloodstream
show examples
.
For example
, it has been proven that 80% of people who exercise regularly maintain a longer life expectancy.
Therefore
 exercising could lengthen the lifespan and improve systemic circulation. An alternative to exercise is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy eating  . A healthy nutrition is one
that is
 numerous and variety of vitamins. It follows that diet can help us prevent various types of diseases.
For example
, most people who ate healthy did not get sick with Covid 19.
Therefore
 healthy eating plays an important role in protecting us from various viruses and diseases. In conclusion, both types of ways to have a healthy lifestyle are important.
Although
 exercising could avoid obesity and increase bloodstream ,
a
Remove the article
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healthy eating assists in overcoming sicknesses
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Expand on examples and details in both arguments to strengthen the discussion. For instance, elaborate on how exercise directly affects specific health aspects and provide more detailed statistical data. Similarly, further explore the impact of a balanced diet on different health conditions.
task achievement
The essay should include a more nuanced opinion with supporting reasons to further strengthen your viewpoint. A well-rounded argument will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all parts of the essay are fully developed, such as the paragraph on exercise, to provide a complete picture. Ensure that each main point is thoroughly explained and supported by evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Resolve any sentence fragments or incomplete thoughts, such as in the sentence "An alternative to exercise is a healthy eating ." This will strengthen the logical flow and ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the topic, maintaining a coherent structure throughout the essay.
task achievement
The writer successfully compares and analyzes different viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of both exercise and diet in relation to health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
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