Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
belives
that Verb problem
believe
government
should promote devices to unemployed Correct article usage
the government
people
because it
can positively affect the reduction of Correct pronoun usage
they
Correct article usage
the unemployed
unemployed
rate. I personally support Replace the word
unemployment
this
thought . So let's discuss my agreed extention
ahead.
As we all know, nowadays there are many options to reduce unemployment. Correct your spelling
extension
However
, it is believed that mobile or smartphone
can be the best option to reduce the growing rate of jobless Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
people
. This
technology can help finding
remote work or any online learning platforms to Change the verb form
to find
their
develop skills for them . Correct pronoun usage
apply
Moreover
, not only this
but they should provide the
internet Correct article usage
apply
acess
schemes for free. Correct your spelling
access
This
consideration can save their
money and ultimately it can Correct pronoun usage
them
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
the
Change the word
their
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
from
Change preposition
apply
them
.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Furthermore
, everyone knows unemployment ratio grows to continue
from the poor countries to the developed countries. So, Verb problem
apply
government
Add an article
the government
instead
should spend the
public money Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
on
such
poor and jobless persons. Unfortunately, it will give a positive outcome to the economy of country
as well. As Add an article
the country
a country
a
it is said , no one knows a gem coming out of Remove the article
apply
trash
. It will Correct article usage
the trash
also
be benificial
for international companies and national companies to contact knowledgeable or skilled Correct your spelling
beneficial
person
easily Fix the agreement mistake
people
due to
this
smartphones
availability for job searching Change noun form
smartphone's
people
.
To conclude
, it is the
best way if Correct article usage
apply
government
provide schemes to make Correct article usage
the government
easier
for both Correct pronoun usage
it easier
the
Correct article usage
apply
side
whether a person searching for a job or the company trying to reach for Fix the agreement mistake
sides
such
useful people
. This
will result
all possible positivity to Add the preposition
result in
result from
unemployed
, companies or Correct article usage
the unemployed
government
running Correct article usage
the government
whole
country.Change the article
the whole
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, clearly organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point, which is supported by relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Make sure to provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
task achievement
Clarify some of your ideas. Although the main concept is understandable, elaborating more on each point and supporting with thorough explanations will improve comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, linking back to the main topic of discussion.
task achievement
The response correctly identifies and discusses the main ideas surrounding the topic, focusing on how providing mobile phones and internet access could aid unemployed individuals.
task achievement
The essay reflects a thoughtful engagement with the subject matter, demonstrating an understanding of how technology could impact employment.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.