You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #topic #people #information #address #telephone #number… #activities #networks #development
Over the
last
few years, by
developing technology, people have not Change preposition
with
required
to enter their personal Add a missing verb
been required
informotaion
on the Correct your spelling
information
internet
including names, phone numbers and Capitalize word
Internet
son
on, at each Correct your spelling
so
enterance
to any Correct your spelling
entrance
websites
, they save their data Fix the agreement mistake
website
just
Change preposition
with just
by
Change preposition
apply
one
click. I believe this
option could be usefull
and effective, Correct your spelling
useful
However
, advanced tech always brings convenience and difficulty simultaneously, we
should treat Correct word choice
so we
wisely
.
Correct pronoun usage
it wisely
By looking
at the positive side, Change preposition
Looking
one
of the most significant advantages is consuming-
Correct your spelling
consuming time
time
, nowadays people does
not need to allocate a long Change the verb form
do
time
to fill blanks in for any registrations or
ordering productions or shipping parcels, so they can spend their Correct word choice
apply
time
on the
other tasks that Correct article usage
apply
more
urgent. Add a missing verb
are more
For example
, imaginening
someone wants to apply for Verb problem
imagine that
phd
program at some Correct your spelling
PhD
universities
, how much Fix the agreement mistake
university
time
should be devoted for fill
in Change preposition
to filling
one
application rather than only one
click to over.
On the other side, Change the punctuation
?
negative
aspectCorrect article usage
the negative
,
must be Remove the comma
apply
considerned
, on the internet, there are a lot of scams, people must pay more attention to Correct your spelling
considered
address
of the sites and other factors if they Correct article usage
the address
not
check Add a missing verb
do not
required
security, they might be hacked or even loss their money, Correct article usage
the required
For instance
, someone tend to buy some items from amazon and being connected to payments page, then
the order submited
Correct your spelling
submitted
while
, hacker has all of banks information like card number, cvv
and expiration date. what was Correct your spelling
CVV
a
problem? the address was -amazon.
Correct article usage
the
To sum up
, advanced tec that could be comfort
and prevent Replace the word
comfortable
to waste
Change the verb form
wasting
time
if individuals review any security tips before doing any action. from my perspective, the benefits of the development of the technology eventually outweigh any drawbacks.Submitted by mahyarnaseri on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your main argument or point.
task achievement
Be careful with word choice and avoid unclear or unnecessary expressions, making sure your ideas are expressed clearly.
task achievement
Use clear and relevant examples to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that appropriately frames your essay.
task achievement
The essay discusses both positive and negative aspects of putting personal information online, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
You have attempted to support your points with examples, which enhances the specificity of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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