Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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While
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it is widely observed that many countries have the same shops and
products
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and often
considered
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consider
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it as a remark for
business
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growth, others argue that
this
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rather
bring
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brings
show examples
about the
monolpoly
Correct your spelling
monopoly
of big
coperates
Correct your spelling
corporates
cooperates
overtaking small
businesses
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. Both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and reasons why I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
this
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could adversely lead to negative developments in terms of the survival of small
businesses
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will be elaborated on in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it seems sensible for some to believe that the expansion of their
products
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and branches across the globe marks
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the success of their company.
This
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is possibly because the presence of
products
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and
business
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chains worldwide can
implied
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be implied
imply
show examples
that there
were
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is
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their goods and services. In
this
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sense, there is no wonder why several people view
this
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positively as it can attract revenues for
this
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business
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. Take
starbucks
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Starbucks
show examples
,
for example
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; it is unarguable that you can
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
them everywhere.
However
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, many opponents of
this
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idea might
opposed
Change the verb form
oppose
be opposed
show examples
that
this
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might be seen as big
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
gradually becoming a monopoly of the industry. It is understandable that when these
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
venture globally
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
possess stronger brand quality,
identity
Correct word choice
and identity
show examples
and
as well as
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holding more customer loyalty than local
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
due to
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
potential
of producing
Change preposition
to produce
show examples
massive goods with certain
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. When it
come
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comes
show examples
to local
businesses
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, attention from the customers is vital for them and often
distract
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distracted
show examples
by these
branch
Fix the agreement mistake
branches
show examples
of
well-known
Add an article
the well-known
a well-known
show examples
company
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companies
show examples
instead
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. From my point of view, I strongly agree with
potential
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the potential
show examples
detrimental
affect
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effect
show examples
of
this
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controversy seeing that
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this big
Change the determiner
this big business
these big businesses
show examples
businesses
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pose a lethal threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
small companies.
Therefore
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, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evident show
Replace the word
evidence showing
show examples
that when the growth of
this
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business
Use synonyms
branches and
products
Use synonyms
expanded worldwide the local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
were slowly vanished
Change to the active voice
slowly vanished
have slowly vanished
show examples
from the intensive
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
battles. In summary,
although
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it is undeniable that one
Use synonyms
products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
can be seen worldwide can be viewed as a positive outcome in terms of
Use synonyms
business-wise
Correct your spelling
business
show examples
, I am of the opinion that
this
Linking Words
can harmly affect the survival of local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
as the aforementioned
coperate
Correct your spelling
corporation
slowly
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
monopoly.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and elaborate on examples to increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to clarify and connect ideas clearly, avoiding repetitive phrases.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main argument well.
complete response
The task is addressed with a clear understanding of the topic and an attempt is made to provide views for both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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